Sasuke's Second Childhood
by God Boy's Girl
Summary: When Sasuke is returned to the village, he is put on a two months' probation that restricts him from going on any missions. Sakura notes how bored and frustrated he is, and gets a brilliant idea! Contains spoilers of the manga, character wise. Complete.
1. The Suggestion

**Authoress's note: **Okay! Second story up! This one's about Sasuke, and although he's not one of my favorite characters, I figured it would be fun to do a story about him.

So, enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Sasuke, nor Naruto. Nor any of the characters in this chapter.

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**Sasuke's Second Childhood**

He was now the single remaining Uchiha in existence. He had killed Itachi a little over two weeks ago.

The look on his brother's face as he'd taken his last few breaths was one of Sasuke's most treasured memories now.

It had been a little too loud of a battle, though, and had caught the attention of Naruto's group and Kisame; Itachi's old partner in the Akatsuki.

Kisame had gotten there first.

Before the shark-man got the opportunity to check if Itachi was still alive, Suigetsu had confronted him. He expected to get Kisame's sword, the Samehada; but was instead met by a rough, painful, and terrible death. It had not been a pretty sight in the least.

Karin hadn't cared; Sasuke hadn't stepped in because this had been Suigetsu's ambition, and he knew hat Suigetsu would need to deal with it.

Juugo had been too busy trying to stop from going insane with blood-thirst again, but he was not winning the fight.

Before Kisame could get to them, a loud shout of "Sasuke!" was heard down the streets of the Uchiha Compound – the destination Itachi had chosen to end their fight at.

Karin informed Sasuke that they were outnumbered intensely, and that the group was close.

Kisame cut his losses and vanished, considering that he'd be in danger if he stayed on his own.

Karin was trying to avoid Juugo as she tried to figure out the exact position of the enemies.

----------

Naruto had finally found Sasuke! Well, his clone had, anyway. Akamaru and Kiba had taken care of tracking Sasuke down.

Hinata reported that there were three people that were in the Uchiha Compound, and there were two other; both dead.

She couldn't identify the bodies or people.

Naruto had feared the worst, and raced all the way to the scene; afraid that Sasuke had been killed by his brother.

When he arrived, he was shocked. Sasuke stood over the body of Itachi, and two others–a girl and a tall man–were by him. The man looked nauseously pale, and the girl looked alarmed.

Sasuke was the first to speak out of everyone, and he looked straight at Naruto as he did so.

"I did it."

----------

Right now, Sasuke was walking back from the Hokage's Tower, a thick scowl on his face. He was rather lucky, in everyone's eyes but his own.

Juugo was being taken special care of. Since he was the official 'creator' of the curse-mark that Orochimaru branded his followers with, Tsunade wanted to see if she could figure out a way to get rid of and destroy it. Juugo had been happy just to have someone keep him under control twenty-four-seven, so he hadn't complained in the least.

Karin, on the other hand, got it much, much worse. Kakashi and Kiba had caught her immediately and handed her over to the ANBU Black Ops, no matter how many things she screamed at them. Sasuke knew that they were going to interrogate her about Orochimaru; since she had been one of his closest followers. Sasuke didn't even try to stop them, either.

The father away from Karin he was, the better.

Sasuke was extremely frustrated with Tsunade at the moment, though. She had put him on a two month's worth of probation. He wasn't allowed to go on any missions during that time, which wasn't going to be pleasant. The odd glances that people were giving him weren't helping, but that was fine. He didn't mind being alone again.

He didn't mind being alone at all.

----------

Sakura watched as Sasuke walked down the street, his usual frown present on his face. She was settled by her window, watching the streets below. She didn't have to go to work at the hospital yet, and had been rather bored all morning. An amusing, but kind, though passed through her mind as Sasuke turned a corner.

_What if I could get Tsunade-sama to give Sasuke a job to keep him occupied?_

So, Sakura stood up from her perch and left her house to go to the Hokage's Tower; a light bounce in her step as she thought up the _perfect_ speech to give to Tsunade. This was going to be great! No one would be able to resist the job that she was going to suggest to Tsunade!

She smiled as she walked up the stairs to Tsunade's office, being cautious to walk around Izumo and Kotetsu, who were carrying up the latest piece of furniture that Tsunade had tossed out the window. It was her office chair. Sakura also noted that Izumo seemed to have a rather large, new bruise on his forehead. She _didn't_ want to know where it had come from.

She knocked on the door to Tsunade's office, earning a grunt of 'come in', before the inside was silent once more. Sakura pulled open the doors and stared at the Hokage.

Tsunade had a bottle of fresh sake in her hand, and she was sitting on her desk as if it were a seat. There was no chair in the room. Sakura suppressed a sigh, and cleared her throat.

"What do you want, Sakura?" Tsunade asked groggily. It was obvious that she wasn't quite sober, but not completely drunk. She stared at Sakura questioningly, as Shizune stood off to the side with Ton-Ton, her pet pig, curled in her arms.

"I came to talk to you about Sasuke-kun's current situation," Sakura announced.

"'Situation'?" Tsunade repeated. "You mean his probation, right?"

"Er, yes, Tsunade-sama; I mean Sasuke-kun's probation," Sakura replied. "I was thinking that you might, possibly, be able to give him a job to keep him occupied while he's stuck here in the village."

"Oh, A job, huh?" Tsunade slurred, setting her hand on the table and using it for support as she stared at her former apprentice. "What kind of 'job' were you thinking of?"

Sakura had prepared for this, and had thought long and hard about the answer. "Well, since Iruka-san is in need of a new teacher's assistant, I was thinking that perhaps Sasuke-kun could help in one of the classes. That or you could have him keep watch on some of the children."

"And tell me, Sakura; what makes you think Sasuke's going to agree to this?"

"Well, he probably won't, but . . . I'm sure he would appreciate this once he got started! No one can resist Genin. They're too cute!" Sakura stated. "It's worth a try – right? I mean, it's not like Sasuke's got anything _better_ to do."

"Fine, then," Tsunade said with a nod. "I'll discuss it with Sasuke and we'll work something out."

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama."

"Uh-huh. Now, get out of here before I change my mind."

Tsunade had never seen Sakura get out of a room so fast.

----------

As Sasuke walked into his house, or at least, the one he was staying in, he sneezed. He sighed, praying to a higher power that he wasn't catching a freakin' cold.

And then he sneezed again.

He scowled as he recalled the very reason he sneezed so much when he was living in the village. _Someone_ had been talking about him then, and he figured that someone was probably talking about him _now_.

He knew he was right when the Hokage's special messenger hawk landed at his window and pecked at it. He scowled as he walked over and opened the window; the bird flying in immediately and landing on his head. Sasuke sighed, and tried to swipe the bird off of his head – only to have it jump up to dodge and land back on his head.

Sasuke let out a low growl, as he slowly reached up and caught the bird by its feet. He hung it upside down by its feet and took the letter off of its leg.

The infuriated scream he emitted was almost loud enough to wake the entire, sleeping village.

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**_Well, there's chapter one! Please review!_**

Shebby


	2. Threats and Deals

**Authoress's notes:** I'd like to thank the two who reviewed my first chapter! It made me so happy, that I got to post another chapter up today! So, please enjoy! Here's _Chapter two; Threats and Deals_!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, or any of the characters in this chapter.

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_Dear Uchiha Sasuke,_

_It has been brought to my attention that you are obviously unhappy with your current situation. With this case in mind, I have been asked to give you a special job to keep you occupied during your probation. This suggestion was given to me out of kindness, and you _will_ complete it._

_Starting Monday, you will be Iruka's new assistant at the Academy, and you will take care of the students that are sent to the Academy during the days they have off, for some students' parents are occupied and cannot take care of them. The most important part of this job is that you will _not _be permitted to lay a hand on the children in any way of harm._

_Come to my office to receive more details for this assignment. This is no request._

_The Godiame Hokage_

----------

Sasuke was now absolutely _furious_ with Tsunade, as he re-read the letter. What kind of demon would make him, the avenger of his entire clan, baby-sit? The answer to that was very simple.

Tsunade was.

He looked around with a glare, trying to see anyone that could be a suspect in this terrible, horrendous crime. He couldn't see anyone that _didn't_ look suspicious, so he was back at square one.

That's when he heard it.

That terrible, cruel, and pathetic whine that was Naruto Uzumaki's voice. Sasuke cringed ever so slightly as the blond came running up, shouting his name enthusiastically. The idiot had a huge, stupid grin on his face.

Just like the 'good' old days.

Naruto came to an abrupt stop in front of Sasuke, crossing his arms. "Sasuke, guess what!" he said suddenly, not taking his gaze off of the man.

"You finally discovered you were an idiot," Sasuke stated, his tone monotonous.

"Ye–No! That's not it, Sasuke! Try again!"

". . ."

"Please, Sasuke?"

". . ."

Naruto sighed, seeing that his 'friend' wasn't going to do this the way it was _supposed_ to go. "I got called on a special mission! I'm gonna go track down one of the most awesome S-class criminals out there!" he announced proudly.

Sasuke's eye twitched. What kind of idiot _was_ Naruto, exactly? Didn't the fool know that he was on probation?

Naruto didn't know that he was picking at the Uchiha's pride. He was too cheerful for that. He suddenly looked like he was in a mental bliss, which startled Sasuke a little; though he didn't show his surprise in the least.

"I'm gonna go get some ramen! Have fun at wherever you're headed to!" Naruto said suddenly, running off. He had just unconsciously reminded Sasuke of the dreaded thing to come.

Naruto had narrowly avoided getting punched in the face.

----------

"Come in," Tsunade said, her tone a little more sober than it had been the day before. She stared at the door as it was pushed open; now staring at the stoic expression of the only remaining Uchiha. An evil smile made its way onto her face, but she quickly hid it by drinking a few gulps of her sake bottle.

Sasuke stared at the Hokage with no expression, but the inside of his mind burned like the fiery flames of hell itself. "I came about the 'assignment' you gave me," he stated, holding out the note. "And I also came to tell you that your bird won't be making it back alive," he added. He'd taken his anger out on the bird the evening before, since not only had it refused to get off of his head once he'd released it – but he had needed _something_ to kill. Itachi was already dead, so, the bird worked perfectly.

Tsunade sighed. _And I liked that bird, too . . ._ she thought, nodding. "Well, I suppose I can't blame you for killing my pet," she muttered. "Now, about your mission; I want you to know that this has to be done, or there will be punishment."

"What kind of punishment?" Sasuke asked monotonously, staring at the Hokage. Nothing could be worse than helping a ton of little brats, right?

"Your punishment will be two extra months of probation, and through all four months, you will be escorting my top medical ninja and our latest captive around the village. The latter will need to be kept an eye on at all times, whereas my medical will need only to be helped with menial tasks."

Sasuke didn't think this sounded _too_ bad, yet. He pondered for a few moments, and then asked the dreaded question. "Who are these two?"

"Haruno Sakura and Karin will be the ones you will escort," Tsunade replied, hiding her coy smile behind more sake. This was getting fun. The extra paleness the Uchiha suddenly got made this all the more fun.

"Fine; I'll do the stupid Academy classes," Sasuke stated firmly, the mental image of him having to escort the two most annoying girls around the entire village burning holes in his head.

"Good," Tsunade smiled. "Now, as for the conditions of your assignment; One, you will not be allowed to harm these students. Two, you will help any and all of the Academy teachers that ask for your help. Three, you will not complain to the teachers. You will help in the cafeteria around lunchtime, and you will keep watch during classes. You get Sundays off, but that is it. You will take care of the students' needs, and you will _not _ignore them. If Iruka gives you a break, you may decline or accept, but do not take it longer than he offers."

Sasuke mentally sighed. This wasn't going to be fun at all, but it would keep him busy. He figured it couldn't get worse, until Tsunade added one final thing:

"And you will play with them if they ask you to."

Sasuke twitched visibly, but made no movement other than this. He nodded to the Hokage, signaling that he understood and accepted her terms. Tsunade smiled, holding her sake bottle firmly. "You start on Monday, Sasuke. Have a good day," she said, before looking down at her desk. Her eyes widened suddenly, and Sasuke took this opportunity to leave the room.

He had seen Shizune place the paper on Tsunade's desk when they were talking, but didn't know what it was. He stuffed his hands into his pockets as he walked down the halls, hearing a loud, muffled screaming coming from upstairs: Something about 'bills' and 'too much to charge'. He paid it no attention until he heard glass break and watched as Tsunade's desk tumbled down through the air.

He winced as he heard the crash come from the desk shattering on the ground. He chanced a glance over the railing, seeing Izumo standing below, rubbing his head painfully. Kotetsu appeared to be trying to comfort the man with words, but Sasuke didn't care. He shrugged it off and walked down the rest of the stairs, ignoring anything and everything around him.

He mulled over everything that Tsunade had told him, a little depressed now. He began to stride home.

The torture would begin tomorrow.

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**_There's chapter two for you! Please review and let me know what you think! Thanks!_**


	3. Meet the Students!

**Authoress's Note:** Okay! Here goes _Chapter Three: Meet the Students!_

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto. I _do_ own the students, though. As well as the plot. :D Happy reading!

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****Meet the Students!**

Sasuke groaned with suppressed exhaustion as he looked over at his blaring alarm clock. He scowled. It was six thirty in the morning! He didn't want to get up at six thirty!

The annoying voice of Tsunade rang in his ears as he buried his face in the pillow, trying to ignore the alarm that was going off on the other side of the room. Tsunade was scolding him about being late for his assignment, and her voice got louder as the alarm did – until finally Sasuke threw a kunai at the clock and watched it scatter to the floor in a heap of junk.

That was his third clock this week.

He growled a little as he climbed out of his bed, staggering over to his closet. He didn't _want_ to go to the Academy and be bothered by a ton of annoying brats that couldn't zip up their own pants. He pulled out a black t-shirt and a pair of black cargo pants, pulling them on. He muttered tired curses as he ran a brush through his hair, undoing the knots he had gathered over night.

He sighed as he stared at himself. He looked stressed. Not that he could blame himself, though. He _was_ under a lot of stress, after all, and the fact that he'd had nightmares of having to escort Karin and Sakura around for four months hadn't helped to calm his mood.

_No matter. These two months will fly by quickly . . . _He thought.

Or, hoped, is more like it.

----------

Sakura smiled as she sat up and stretched. For some reason, she felt like she was the queen of the world, and she'd just woken up on her new, fancy, comfortable chair. It was wonderful, she realized, as she looked around the room to find that her surroundings were just as they had been in her dream. She smiled as she looked over, expecting to see Sasuke as her king.

She let out a loud, shrill scream as she saw it was Naruto.

Sakura jumped up out of bed with such a force, that she fell straight out of bed and onto the floor. "Ow," she muttered, sitting up as she rubbed her head. That was the worst nightmare she had had in days. She staggered to her feet, and stared at the clock. It was seven in the morning.

She sighed, stretched, and changed into her usual uniform so she could work in the hospital. She would leave for work early today, and see if she could go talk to Tsunade about how well Sasuke took the news about her suggestion. She was so excited! She could just picture the happy expression on Sasuke's face when Tsunade had given him the news!

After all; who could resist working with children?

----------

Sasuke stared at the doors to the Academy, a bored expression on his face. All he would have to do was go in, introduce himself, and sit through a boring lecture by Iruka, and then go home. This was going to be a piece of cake.

It was _much_ better than babysitting two full grown fan-girls.

He grabbed the handle to the door and pulled it open, walking inside and closing it lazily behind him. He walked down the empty halls, before turning to the all-too-familiar classroom of Iruka. It was too early for anyone to be at the Academy, but he needed to hear what Iruka wanted him to do anyway. He knocked on the door.

Iruka immediately opened it, a warm smile on his face. "Hi, Sasuke, it's been a long time since I've seen you," he said happily. "You don't know how glad I was when I heard you were going to come help me with my classes."

Sasuke nodded. "What do I need to do?" he asked stoically; uninterested in anything Iruka had to say that _didn't_ involve what he needed to do.

Iruka nodded, recalling that he still hadn't informed Sasuke of his duties. "Well, first, you're going to be introduced to the class. Then I'm going to explain what we're doing, which is a demonstration of the 'Transformation Jutsu'," he stated. "Then they'll have a short recess, lunch, and the half of the class that hasn't done the transformation will take their turns."

"Okay," Sasuke said monotonously. "So what do _I_ have to do?"

"Watch the students' transformations, and basically comment on how well they're doing. Tsunade-sama said that you were going to help with lunch, too, so you can go to do that while the students are going to recess."

"Do I have to wear one of those hair-things?" Sasuke asked. When Iruka nodded, Sasuke had to suppress a sigh. "Okay. Is there anything else that I need to do?"

"Well, you'll need to stay with the children after classes are through until their parents arrive," Iruka added. "After that, your shift is over."

Sasuke nodded. This sounded easy enough to him. He walked over to a chair that was propped against the wall and took a seat, waiting for something to happen.

A half an hour later, and Sasuke was ready to shove a kunai through his head to drown out the noise of excited children in the room. He could feel eyes boring into his face, clothes, and other parts of him that he didn't exactly feel comfortable with having kids stare at.

He sighed as he watched Iruka usher one of the last students in, before walking into the classroom and standing before his students. Sasuke mentally rolled his eyes, bored already. This was just like when he was in the Academy.

During his time of mulling over his thoughts, Sasuke realized he hadn't heard much of what Iruka had been saying. He tuned his ears in to listen.

"And so, this is my new Teacher's Assistant, Sasuke," Iruka said, gesturing for Sasuke to come stand by him. Sasuke mentally groaned, walking over to stand by the brown-haired man. He stared out at the kids, resisting the urge to wince as he saw several girls giggling and whispering to each other. Oh, he could just imagine the evil plots these little brats were coming up with just by looking at him . . .

"Are there any questions you have for Sasuke-san?" Iruka asked his students. One little green haired girl raised her hand. Iruka smiled. "Iria, what's your question?"

"Why does Sasuke-sensei's hair look like a chicken?" the little girl asked, looking at Sasuke with wide, and in Sasuke's opinion, evil eyes.

She smiled innocently, waiting for Sasuke to answer. Sasuke sighed. "Because it's the way I style my hair so that I don't look like everyone else," he stated, crossing his arms habitually.

One young boy picked the back of his hair up so it resembled Sasuke's hair-style slightly. "Look! Now I look like Sasuke-sensei! You'll have to change your hairstyle now, right, Sensei?"

"Tai; stop," Iruka said, as Sasuke mentally thanked Iruka for that. He really didn't want to answer that kid's question and have to contradict himself.

As another kid was about to comment, Iruka spoke up. "That's enough questions for now. We have to get on with the lesson, anyway," he stated, as a ripple of 'aww's passed through the group. Sasuke turned and walked back to his chair, sitting down.

_Stupid kid; how dare she call my hair a chicken? That's not even funny . . ._ he thought bitterly, watching Iruka explain what was going to have the kids do with boredom. Sasuke sighed, looking out the window. It was too beautiful of a day to be cooped up inside the Academy.

He watched as half of the students walked around their desks and stood in a line in front of the rows of desks. Iruka walked over to Sasuke and held out a clipboard. Sasuke stared at it, and then at Iruka. "What?"

"Take this, please," Iruka said. Sasuke did as told (a little annoyed), and waited for further instructions. Iruka spoke again. "When I say 'good' or 'bad', mark it down next to the names, okay?"

"Sure, okay," Sasuke muttered, figuring it best not to get on Iruka's nerves right now.

After about thirteen transformations, Sasuke was tired of seeing clones of Iruka, the Hokage, or a dog being made. He was _bored_, though it seemed like a bit of an understatement. He felt like he was about to fall asleep, until one kid turned into a chicken and started squawking around the room. Sasuke was faintly amused by this, but nothing more than faintly.

He nearly fell asleep until the kids were finished, and he handed the clipboard back to Iruka. He headed off to the kitchen to help out. It was true. He _did_ have to wear one of those annoying hair-nets that the cafeteria made him wear. It wasn't pleasant, and it made him feel like a woman.

The apron didn't help.

He thanked the higher powers when he was through cooking and setting the food out on the bar. He learned the name of the girl he was working with: Miyu.

He sat down to take his own lunch break, and settled for eating some pork, when Iruka burst into the lounge. He stared at the man, as Iruka tried to regain his breath. "Sasuke, I need you to do something for me. The teachers have been called to a meeting, and we won't be back until tomorrow. I need you to stay with the kids until the end of school, okay?"

"Okay," Sasuke muttered. It wasn't until Iruka was gone that Sasuke realized what he had just agreed to.

He was about to spend an entire half-a-day with a ton of little devils.

Oh lord.

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**_There's Chapter Three! Please review:D_**


	4. Uchiha's Worst Nightmare

**Authoress's Notes:** I'd like to thank all of the reviewers who have driven me to write another chapter! Thank you all so much, and I'm glad you're enjoying my story! I know I am! So, anyway, here's _Chapter Four; Uchiha's Worst Nightmare_.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, Sasuke, or any of the other characters. I own the plot and the students; nothing more.

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**Uchiha's Worst Nightmare**

Sakura smiled as she swung Tsunade's door open. The first thing she saw was that Tsunade suddenly had a new taste in desks. She sweatdropped, and then focused her attention back on the task at hand.

She had to ask about Sasuke, after all.

"What do you want, Sakura?" Tsunade asked grouchily. She hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. Sakura placed her hands behind her back calmly. "I wanted to know how Sasuke reacted to the news yesterday."

Tsunade stared at Sakura. How Sasuke reacted to the news? She didn't remember giving Sasuke any news yesterday. She _did_ recall taking a medication for her headaches yesterday morning, though, and suddenly got the suspicion that it hadn't been 'medicine'. She had also walked into her office to find that she had a new desk, and was curious to know why it was there.

Shizune swore up and down that she had thrown it out after Sasuke left, but Tsunade insisted that she hadn't seen Sasuke.

Now she figured that she might have been wrong. "What do you mean 'news', Sakura?"

"You were going to give Sasuke my suggestion about working in the Academy."

_I recall saying that, but I don't remember telling Sasuke . . . _she thought. She couldn't let her title as Hokage get ruined, though, so put on a smile and nodded. "Oh, right! I remember now. Sasuke took the offer happily. He said he couldn't wait to get to work," she lied.

She didn't know how wrong she was.

----------

These were exactly the situations that Sasuke tried to _avoid_. He was going to be stuck, _alone_, with a ton of little children that were probably ready to rip his brain out to feed to their pet lion. He sighed. This was not his day at all.

He walked out of the teachers' lounge and walked down the hallway; heading for Iruka's class. He stopped when he saw that none of the students were in the classroom, and tried to rack his brain for a plausible reason as to why.

Then he remembered that Iruka had always come out to get the students. He turned and walked down the hall again; this time heading for the playground. He stared outside and saw all of the kids. He walked out and stood straight. The kids looked like they were having fun. They were so cute!

But they weren't cute to Sasuke. To him, they were pathetic nuisances that would only get in his way. He sighed, and then called for them all to come. The boy who had mocked his hair, Tai, was the first to run up. "Where's Iruka-sensei?" he asked curiously.

"He had to go to a meeting. I'm taking care of you until your parents come," Sasuke replied stoically, as the rest of the kids ran up to hear his statement.

Sasuke didn't like the sudden sparkle that lit up in the kids' eyes.

Iria stared at him curiously. "So, Iruka-sensei, and all of the other senseis are . . . gone?"

"Yeah, and?"

"You're the only one here?" Tai asked, staring up at him. Sasuke suddenly felt very awkward, but hid it well.

"Yeah, I am."

"Will you come and play with us?" Another child asked; her bright green eyes lit up in excitement.

Sasuke was about to say no, since they had to go back to class, when a sentence suddenly popped into his head. It was from his worst nightmare.

_And you will play with them if they ask you to._

Sasuke was about to shout something _extremely _foul, but before he could, he imagined _that_ being told to the senseis. It wasn't a pretty image. He sighed, but nodded. "Sure. Whatever."

The children cheered, and then managed to drag Sasuke over to a slide. "Sasuke-sensei goes first!" Iria announced with a grin on her face. Everyone else cheered, chanting the same. Sasuke's eye twitched as the kids tried to push him up onto the slide.

This was stupid, but he didn't have a choice. "I can get up myself."

"Then go!" Tai stated, watching with wonder. Sasuke sighed, and then climbed the rest of the way; taking a seat at the top of the slide. A sudden question loomed over his brain.

_How old is this thing?_

He recalled that it had been around when he was a young Academy student, so it had to be at least ten or eleven years old. He also realized that none of the children had been sliding on it. "I don't think this is–"

He didn't get to finish his statement as a blue-haired boy gave him a push and jumped back to the ground. Sasuke slid forward. It was a rather long slide, built for menial seconds of entertainment, and it was going well until Sasuke heard the God-forsaken noise.

_Crack_.

His eyes widened as the slide suddenly fell apart, causing him to land in a heap on the ground, groaning from a light pain in his back, head, and ankle. The slide had completely broken, and all of the kids were laughing their evil little heads off. Sasuke scowled. This wasn't funny at all!

He climbed to his feet, brushing him self off in an attempt to calm his fury. He felt like using Chidori on each one of these little brats.

_You will not be allowed to harm these students._

That statement was the only thing keeping these children alive. He looked at the children. "Why are you laughing?"

"Y-you broke the slide!" Tai laughed. The blue haired boy who had pushed him grinned. "Didn't you know that the slide was unstable?" he asked, trying to talk without laughing. "It's older than _you_!"

Sasuke's eye twitched. Oh, these kids were like the devil all divided into thirty little minions.

"It's time to go inside," Sasuke stated sternly, allowing no room for any type of argument. A few 'aww's were heard, but they were almost drowned out by the laughter of the other students.

The laughter didn't end until everyone was seated in their seats. Sasuke sighed as he walked over and looked at Iruka's desk. His eyes widened a little.

Iruka had left him a note.

_Dear Sasuke-san,_

_I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to reach you in time before I have to go to my meeting, so I'm writing this as an extra precaution. Tsunade informed me of all of your conditions and I wanted to let you know that I understand your situation._

_If the children ask you to play with them, be _sure_ to avoid the slide. Since Chouji was the last one to use it, it's very unstable._

Sasuke scowled. Sure. _Now_ he found the note. He sighed, before focusing his attention back on the note.

_Anyway, I'd like for you to complete the transformation test for me. Read out the last few names on the clipboard. By the time that you get through with that, the time for class to end should be there. Tell the children to transform into you, so you can tell if they're good or bad at it._

_Thank you,_

_Iruka_

Sasuke turned to look at the clipboard the note had been set on top of. He set the letter down and picked up the clipboard.

"What are you gonna do with _that_, Sensei? You won't break that too, will you?" Tai asked curiously, a mock smile on his face. Sasuke wished that the boy's parents would have beaten him a little more.

"No, I am not going to break this clipboard," Sasuke stated. _At least, on nothing less than your big head,_ he added mentally, though kept that to himself. "You're going to finish your Transformation Jutsu, with _me_ as the teacher. I don't want _any_ fooling around – do you understand?" he asked sternly, recalling how Iruka had used to threaten the students when he was in the Academy.

The muttered answers of 'uh-huh' were echoed by most of the students. Sasuke didn't take this seriously, though, as he kept a carefully placed eye on each of them. He didn't want to seem paranoid, after all. That would just feed their little egos.

It was just the fact that these kids were . . . Evil. They were to him, anyway. He'd never liked kids very much, and now he was alone with at least twenty-five to thirty of them.

The thought made him want to shudder.

"Okay, first off, Sanburou," Sasuke announced, as a scrawny red-headed boy walked up to stand in front of him.

"Iruka has asked that you all transform into me," he stated, watching as the boy shrugged and did a decent replica of him. Sasuke nodded and put a check by 'good'. "Okay, next . . ."

----------

Sasuke sighed as he sent the last of the students off with their parents. He leaned against the door of the Academy, suddenly exhausted. The day had been rather boring, up until the stupid kids had made him fall off of the slide. Sasuke looked down at his clothing.

They were stained pathetically from grass, and he had a few scratches on his sleeves. He muttered an inaudible curse to himself as he rubbed his forehead, trying to relax his tensed body. He turned and began to walk towards his house, reflecting on the Transformation tests.

Everyone had basically done well, but he had had to resist the urge to put a check next to the 'bad' check-box when it came Tai's turn. The little demon had decided to replicate the way Sasuke had looked when he had fallen off of the slide – causing a sudden uproar of laughter to emit from the other students.

Sasuke _would_ have given him a bad grade if the boy hadn't of looked just like him. He sighed as he turned the corner and walked into his house, deciding to take a bath.

At least Iruka would be around tomorrow. Things would be okay, then.

It was wishful thinking, but, it made him feel better. That was all he needed at the moment, too.

He absolutely dreaded tomorrow, no matter which way he looked at it.

This reality came to smash into his forehead as he lay down to go to sleep. The kids would probably brag about how they had managed to trick him so easily, and his reputation would be destroyed.

Well, whatever reputation he had left, anyway.

He finally drifted off into a restless sleep, his dreams consumed of children laughing at him.

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**_There you go! There's chapter four! I hope you enjoyed it! I felt like this chapter lagged a bit in the comedy section, but I intend to make this funnier as it goes along. :) So, anyway, please review! Thanks!_**


	5. Cafeteria Mayhem!

**Authoress's note:** I want to thank everyone who reviewed! And thank you all for supporting me. I'm sorry that I couldn't get a chapter up yesterday. I was gone most of the morning, and still had to edit this today. So, anyway, here's _Chapter Five; Cafeteria Mayhem! _Brought to you by me, and many reviews from people and my friend Emily. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto. I own no one but Kaido, Miyu, and the students.

**

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**Cafeteria Mayhem!**

Sasuke sighed as his newest alarm began to blare at him - accept _this_ time it was kids' laughter that woke him; not Tsunade's scornful voice.

Other than this, Sasuke's day began the usual way; starting when he threw his shoe at his clock and made it shatter to the ground. He changed into his uniform as he muttered inaudible curses, getting ready for the torture to commence.

He ate an apple for breakfast (he did this in hope of keeping the doctor, Sakura, as far away from him as possible), fixed his hair, and headed outside.

The walk to the Academy had been rather uneventful, save for the fact that Shizune had met up with him and asked about his progress. He just muttered 'hn' and walked on.

As he arrived at the Academy, he noticed something white hanging on the door. Dread consumed him as he cautiously approached it; his eyes trailing a path around him to make sure it wasn't a set-up.

He stopped dead when he realized it was a note – considering the past few notes he had been receiving had been less than pleasant. He took a breath to calm himself down. This had gone too far, and he was growing paranoid over nothing.

He pulled the taped letter off of the door and stared at it, unconsciously reading the first part of it aloud.

"Dear Sasuke,

I have unfortunately been called off on a last minute mission, so I will be unable to attend classes today. Don't worry, though. I've created you a list of things I intended on having the class do today, and it includes completing the transformation tests. Have them turn into something different today, okay?

Also, I'm sorry about the incident with the slide. I didn't know the children would do that to you."

Sasuke sighed. A lot of good apologizing would do after the deed had already been done. Was there honestly ever a point of doing that, anyway? He shook his head, and then focused on the letter again.

_Miyu has also asked me to have you help her serve the students their lunch today. She says it was very difficult for her to keep up with them all, and any help would be appreciated. Help her out, would you please, Sasuke?_

What was the point in asking? Sasuke wondered. Didn't Iruka know that he didn't have a choice?

----------

Sasuke waited for a good half an hour until he was positive that no more students would be coming inside. He was more than happy when he realized that Iria wasn't there, along with a few other students. He kept a stoic expression through his happiness, though.

The less kids, the less embarrassment he would have to face.

He crossed his arms as he stood in front of the class, taking in the curious glances each of them were giving him. He sighed mentally, trying to think of the first thing to say.

"Hey, Slide-breaker-sensei, where's Iruka-sensei?" Tai asked boredly, leaning back in his chair and propping his feet up on the desk. "Shouldn't he be here by now? Or did he have to repair the slide?"

Sasuke glared at the child. "No, Iruka didn't have to fix the slide. He had a mission to go on."

"If you're a sensei, shouldn't you have gone on a mission, too?" A little girl said, looking at Sasuke with curiosity in her eyes. Sasuke sighed.

"I'm a teacher's assistant. I help when the teachers are gone."

"That's a lame job," Tai muttered. "Being a ninja who gets to go on awesome missions is _much_ cooler! You're lame, Sasuke!"

"That's Sasuke-_sensei_, Tai," The little girl said sharply, her tone low in hopes of Sasuke not hearing.

But he did. He tightened his arms, before counting to ten in an attempt to calm down. "We have things we have to do, today," he announced. "The rest of you have to finish your trans–"

"Sasuke-san, I'm glad you're here!" A man said, running into the room. Everyone inside turned to stare at the man – including Sasuke.

"What is it?" Sasuke asked stoically.

"I've been called to help Iruka on his mission," The man said hurriedly. "Could you take care of my students, please?"

_You will help any and all of the Academy teachers that ask for your help._

Sasuke shrugged. "Sure, whatever . . . What level?"

"First years," The man said, ushering a group of _really_ young kids in. The man handed Sasuke a large bag, bowed in thanks, and rushed out of the room. Sasuke stared at all of the children, realizing that there was absolutely _no_ way he was going to fit all of these kids in this room.

He racked his brain as he tried to recall a room large enough for them all.

And then the lunch bell rang.

He ushered all of the children out of the room, leading them down the hall as he tried his best to ignore the comments about how he could barely control one group of kids; most of which were coming from Tai, Sasuke's biggest problem so far.

He led the group of children into the cafeteria and told them all to find a seat as he went back to help Miyu. The aqua-haired girl greeted him enthusiastically, while all he muttered was 'hn' and got to work.

Hamburgers, mashed potatoes, and corn were what made up the meal for today's lunch. Sasuke stuck the last of the condiments on the table and sighed, walking out to face the kids.

"Look! It's not Sasuke-sensei anymore!" Tai shouted, noticing the apron an hair-net. "It's Sasuke-_chan_!"

Sasuke was growing extremely frustrated with this young brat, and he had the foreboding feeling that the boy knew it, too. It angered him, but he pretended not to have heard him, or the laughter that emitted from the ten to twelve year olds, and the three to five year olds that were in the room.

"If you want to eat," Sasuke said, trying to keep his voice as level as possible. "Then I suggest you come and get some food."

Instead of trying to make a smart remark or comment, the children stood up to get in line. Sasuke looked at the smaller kids who had yet to get up. "What? Why aren't you all getting in line?"

"Sasuke-sensei, Kaido-sensei always brings the food to us," one young boy replied sheepishly.

Sasuke sighed, but nodded. "Okay, wait here, then," he said, counting each of the students. There were twenty-four of them. He headed back behind the serving bar.

"Miyu, can you serve those little kids?" Sasuke asked monotonously. Miyu shook her head vigorously. "Of course," she said, before going off to get the meals ready as Sasuke walked up to the counter and started to serve the older children. It went great, too. Much better than Sasuke had imagined it going.

Until it was Tai's turn.

The young, red-headed boy stared at Sasuke, and then the mashed potatoes and corn. "I want both," he stated.

"You can't have both," Sasuke stated, matching the young boy's look with a stoic one. Tai huffed. "Why not?"

"Because it's one side dish per student. That's the rule," Sasuke stated firmly, not quite sure _why_ this kid seemed to hate him so much.

Tai glared at him, but then suddenly smiled – which surprised Sasuke a little. Then the boy spoke to him. "So, I can't have both?"

"No."

The boy grinned, and Sasuke suddenly got the feeling he _always_ got when something bad was about to happen.

Before he could stop the boy, Tai grabbed a handful of both side-dishes, and chunked them straight at Sasuke's face, causing the Uchiha to be temporarily blinded by mashed potatoes and corn. He scowled as he wiped the items away from his eyes and face, glaring at the boy.

Tai smiled in reply, with his comment being; "_I_ can't have both – but you sure can, Sensei! I give you permission!"

Everyone laughed, except for Sasuke and Miyu. Miyu tried _not_ to laugh, anyway, as she handed out the last few meals. It wasn't everyday that anyone got to see Sasuke with mashed potatoes weighing down his spiked-up hair, anyway.

Sasuke looked at Tai, honestly wishing he could just kill the stupid kid. He didn't make his wishes out loud, though, so he smirked instead.

"Yes, of course. But, now that you've just wasted good food, you get to go sit down with _no_ mashed potatoes _or_ corn. So, get," he stated firmly. The surprised expression on Tai's face made him all the happier.

Miyu quickly walked over to Sasuke. "I can handle it now," she whispered. "You go get cleaned up and eat for yourself, okay?"

"Whatever," Sasuke muttered, turning and going into the back to change.

_Stupid kids . . ._ he thought as he pulled off the hair net and apron. _Why can't they just behave with me like they do with Iruka?_

Sasuke left the cafeteria and went down to the teachers lounge. He was ready to break something by the time he'd gotten there.

How could he have let a stupid little kid _do_ that to him!? First the slide, then the dreams, and now this. This was just terrible. It wasn't funny, nor was it 'cool'. He despised these kids, but he wasn't allowed to complain. It wasn't fair!

Then again, neither was the fact that he would have to escort the world's largest pair of fan-girls for four months if he quit now.

Not to mention the fact that it would make him look like a total moron who couldn't handle a few kids.

He took his time walking back to the cafeteria to get the kids; looking into empty classrooms until he found one that was wide enough to hold fifty-four to sixty children. A smirk appeared on his face as he recalled Kaido giving him a list of what _his_ children could do while he was gone.

Sasuke had read 'nap when lunch is over' on the list Kaido had given him.

He opened the door to the cafeteria, which was filled with laughter and jokes, as he walked in. He crossed his arms. "Okay, lunch is over. Everyone get ready to go back to class," he announced loudly, catching all of the students' attention.

"Why _should _we go?" Tai asked snidely.

"Because I, as your sensei, told you to."

Sasuke smirked as he realized that Tai couldn't come up with a plausible excuse. He crossed his arms. "Anyone who's left in here gets extra homework," he stated firmly.

He thought the kids had just eaten a box of sugary donuts, the way they ran over to get in line. He smirked, walking ahead and towards the classroom.

_Iruka's going to have to have those students do the transformations tomorrow. I've got too many students to do _that_ with right now . . ._ he thought bitterly as he opened the door for them all to go inside of the new classrooms. There were no seats for students, and that was good. Sasuke looked at the kids as he walked into the room.

"Okay, well, Kaido-'sensei' said that you all need to take a nap now," Sasuke stated. "So, get to sleep," he said, taking a seat at the only desk in the room; claiming it for his own.

"What?!?!" The older kids whined, while the younger ones smiled and ran off to find a place to sleep at.

Sasuke had expected this moment, and had actually thrived upon it. "Take a nap."

The young blue-haired boy who had pushed him down the slide growled. "We're too old to take a nap!" he shouted.

"Too bad," Sasuke stated firmly. "You're going to take a nap anyway. It's healthy."

_And it will keep you away from me,_ he added mentally.

After a few more arguments were beaten down by Sasuke, the older children had no choice but to comply with Sasuke's command. To Sasuke's amusement, they fell asleep quickly.

With nothing interesting going on in the room, and after re-reading his list of 'things-to-do' three or four times, Sasuke got bored.

He closed his eyes to relax, and ended up falling asleep for himself.

He had no idea that some of the older children were actually hidden well in the cafeteria's ceiling (having found out that there was a panel on the roof that could easily be moved when a chair and a few students were there to help). The ones sleeping were just shadow clones, and they disappeared as soon as the real ones made their way to the panels above Sasuke's class.

Evil smiles were on each of the kids' faces as they realized Sasuke had let his guard down.

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**_There's chapter five for you! I hope you enjoyed!! Please review!_**

**_Shebby_**


	6. Operation: 'Pretty Boy'

**Authoress's note:** Hi again! I'd like to thank all of my reviewers again! I greatly appreciate your comments and support! I'd also like to take this time to put a curse upon all sunburn, considering I have been eaten by it. (Not literally, thank the sun). Anyway, I _really_ hope you enjoy this chapter! So, here goes _Chapter Six: Operation: 'Pretty Boy'._

**Disclaimer:** I do not, and never will, own Naruto or any of the characters. I own the students, the paint, and other equipment only. Thank you.

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**Operation: 'Pretty Boy'**

Tai stared down through the hole in the ceiling, watching Sasuke carefully to make sure that he was really asleep. He nodded to the others, signaling that Sasuke was indeed sleeping like the other Academy students.

Iria, who had purposely 'missed' school had gone through her mom's stuff, and had a huge bag in her hand. She had waited in the ceiling for this moment, ever since early this morning.

Makoto, the blue haired boy from the slide incident, sat by Iria as he awaited further orders. A blond girl, Naoko, watched Tai carefully for any signs of alarm.

"Okay," Tai whispered, crossing his arms. "Time to commence the plan 'Pretty Boy'," he announced softly, staring at Iria. "Did you get the stuff?"

"Check," Iria replied, holding up the bag. She looked at Naoko. "Did you get what you were supposed to?"

"Yep," she replied, holding up her backpack. "I made sure to take it when Mom left."

"So, then, we've got everything. I brought what I was supposed to," Tai stated, holding up a can and paintbrush. He grinned, looking at Makoto. "What about you?"

Makoto held up several spray cans. "Yeah, I grabbed it from Dad's workshop."

"What colors?"

"They're pink and green."

"Good," Tai smiled. "So every thing's here; we just have to make good use of it – and quick, too."

"That's easy. Sensei always said that we were the quickest and smartest in our class," Iria smiled, stretching her arms. "I just can't believe that Sasuke fell for our clones."

"I'm glad Iruka-sensei didn't decide to have him teach us the clone jutsu instead of transformation, since that would have messed this up," Naoko stated. Makoto and Tai nodded in agreement.

"Then let's get to work before Sasuke wakes up," Tai stated, carefully moving a panel from the ceiling, being extra sure to keep it quiet. Makoto handed him a rope. "Here, use this," he said, tying one end on a pipe that was firmly placed. "We'll stick a clone up here, so that it can close the panel and pull up the string," he stated.

"I'll take care of that," Tai said, doing the hand seal. (He'd been in the Academy long enough to know the Clone Jutsu by heart). A shadow clone of him self appeared as Tai carefully descended the rope. He waved a hand in front of Sasuke's face to test if he was still sleeping, and when he got no response, he beckoned for the others to come down as well.

They all came down with their supplies, and when they were done, the clone did as it was made to do, closing the panel. They didn't make it disappear, though, because they would need somewhere to hide the evidence.

When everyone was ready, they began to do their separate jobs – each equally surprised at how deeply a sleeper Sasuke was. They were proud of themselves when finished, all of them trying not to laugh and wake everyone.

That would come later.Sake

They hid everything, and Iria snuck out of the Academy; upset only at the fact that she would miss the reactions, but, she'd live to hear about it tomorrow.

With everything in place, the real students laid down on the floor to get some 'sleep'; while in reality, they were waiting for Sasuke to wake up.

This was going to be the best day ever!

----------

Sasuke yawned a little, stretching out as he did so. That had been the best sleep he had ever had. Glancing up at the clock, he realized that school would be ending soon, and he would be out of this awful place.

He couldn't help but feel like his face had gotten a little heavier, but shook it off as an after affect of sleeping in a sitting position. He looked out at the kids. They were all still asleep, and he, reluctantly, needed to wake them up.

"Okay, it's time to get up," he stated firmly; loudly.

The kids began to get up a little groggily, and Sasuke didn't mind this. For the first half an hour, as they all woke up, everything was rather quiet. Sasuke almost, _almost_, smiled at this notion. It was really nice, actually.

And then, Tai stared straight at him, a cruel grin crossing his face. A shiver ran straight down Sasuke's spine.

Something was wrong.

Sasuke quickly glanced around the room, making sure nothing was moved, and nothing was hurt. All seemed fine, so he wasn't sure why the child looked so . . . _evil_ all of a sudden.

Tai's expression didn't change for a few seconds, and then Makoto began to laugh a loud, cold laugh.

A laugh Sasuke positively despised.

Soon, the other kids began to join in, all staring at him as they did so. Sasuke couldn't figure out what was so funny. He was tempted to look behind him to see what they were laughing at, but that would feed their little egos – so he just stared at them all until, eventually, the children realized that the laughter wasn't hurting Sasuke at all.

Well, he didn't _show_ that it 'hurt' him at all, anyway. He just sat down at a desk, crossed his arms, and waited for the kids to run out of any and all breath, so he could have at least five minutes of nothing but random and consistent pants coming from them all. Sasuke smirked when they all sat on the floor, waiting to find out what was going to entertain them now.

They sat in boredom until school ended, and Sasuke watched the entire group of kids walk out of 'his' classroom, some of the younger girls waving politely at him as he just watched them stoically.

Once they were all gone, Sasuke jumped up out of his seat and examined the room. What the children had been laughing at had been bugging him ever since they'd quit. What confused him now, though, was that he didn't see anything that would make them laugh – so he had only one thought in mind.

_They were laughing at _me

Sasuke quickly walked out of the classroom, down the hall, and into the bathrooms.

He screamed in horror when he looked in the mirror.

His hair had been painted pink – _pink_ for Goodness sake! Not to mention the fact that he now had curls in his hair. His entire face was painted a _really_ bright red, and he now had black lipstick on. His arms, neck, and legs were painted dark blue (a _terrible_ contrast to the red paint), and his clothes had been spray-painted green.

His eye twitched spasmodically, as shivers of disturbance, loathing, and _slight_ fear of his reflection passed up and down his spinal cord.

This was _anything_ but funny.

He had no idea that Tai and Makoto had just set a trap for him outside the door and ran.

Therefore, when he opened the door, he was met by a thick, sticky substance. He let out an infuriated yell; mainly because now, not only was his hair sticky and clinging to his face and neck, but he smelled _sweet_. He _hated_ smelling sweet.

He growled, storming down the hall and having to pull his feet up off of the ground extra hard to avoid sticking to the floor.

As soon as he walked outside, he wished he hadn't.

Naruto happened to be coming his way; apparently coming to give Iruka a progress report on how his missions were going (and probably to ask if he could treat Naruto to some ramen later).

Sasuke cringed as Naruto came to an abrupt halt. It was obvious that Naruto _really_ wanted to laugh, but he did his best to hold in the laughter, his eyebrows furrowing in the attempt.

It didn't work, and Naruto ended up lying on the ground, clutching his sides, and rolling around in a full-blown laughter. Sasuke glared daggers into the boy, and would have punched the living spirit out of the teen if he wouldn't have abruptly stopped.

"S-sorry, Sasuke, I just didn't expect to see you in tha—Here," he said, quickly catching himself. Sasuke still glared at him. "What do you want, Loser?" he asked sharply.

"Uh . . . I forgot," Naruto sweatdropped, before staring at Sasuke in surprise. "Do I smell . . . Syrup?"

So _that's_ what that sticky substance was, Sasuke thought, as he cringed thickly at Naruto's comment. "No," he stated angrily. "It's _not_."

"Uh . . . Right," Naruto sweatdropped. "Gotcha."

Sasuke shoved past Naruto. "Get out of my way, Loser," he stated angrily, storming off with steam almost visible over his head. Naruto, once Sasuke was out of earshot, laughed again.

Sasuke glowered furiously as he passed people, all of them laughing at him and his 'new look'.

As he arrived home, he had managed to avoid doing several things.

He'd managed not to throw a shoe at some passing kids, not to punch a few parents, not to smash random windows as he saw himself, and not to go to any of the kids' houses and commit mass-murder like his brother had.

He was very proud of himself for this.

But not at the fact that he was losing all of his pride to a bunch of ten to twelve year old children.

He sighed as he walked inside and slipped off his sandals – twitching as he saw he was wearing pink nail polish.

He immediately got into the shower, and scrubbed until his fingers and skin were completely sore. It _hurt_, but he positively _had _to get this stuff off of him.

And he hated syrup.

He scrubbed his hair with his fingernails, attempting to get the paint out of his poor hair, and to get the curls out as well.

Once he figured that he would be satisfied, he climbed out of the shower and looked in the mirror (with a towel wrapped around his waist), and growled.

No change, except his hair was straight again.

After three or four more scrubs, the paint came off a little, so now he wasn't such a dark blue, and his face looked pink instead of red. His hair was a very light pink, with spots of black decorated in between.

He sighed, deciding upon cleaning the rest of his curse off in the morning when he woke up. He set his alarm, changed into a loose shirt and boxers, and crawled into bed to sleep.

He did so with some trouble, his mind mulling over how on earth a bunch of puny kids hadn't woken him; the world's lightest sleeper ever.

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**_I hope you enjoyed chapter six! I'm really hoping that my comedy-skills aren't too bad. if you've got any suggestions, let me know in a private message or a review! Thanks!_**

**_Shebby_**

**_Please review:)_**


	7. Legs?

**Authoress's Note:** Hey! I'm back! Sorry for the delay. I got a little stuck, and Tai got stabbed, so he had to come back to full health again. XD Thank you to the reviewer who did that, considering it gave me more time to think. I appreciate all of the reviews I've been recieving, and I'm so proud to know how much you're all enjoying this. Anyway, without further delay, I give you _Chapter Seven: Legs?!_

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, or the characters. I only own the students, pets, and plot. Thank you.

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**Legs?!**

Sasuke had forgotten to set his alarm that evening, so he ended up being in such a rush that he forgot to take a shower. He realized his mistake as he walked up to the Academy doors, huffing and setting his hands on his knees to try to catch his breath.

His legs and hands were still blue.

He sighed, knowing very well that it was too late to go do anything about his condition. He muttered soft, inaudible curses to himself as he pulled open the doors to the Academy, walking inside cautiously.

Iruka was waiting for him within, and Sasuke did his best not to look straight at the man.

"Sasuke, are you okay?" Iruka asked, obviously noticing Sasuke's strange behavior.

"I'm fine," Sasuke muttered.

"Good," Iruka smiled. "I've got a special job for you today."

Sasuke mentally groaned, but managed to keep his expression in check. "A special job, huh? What is it?"

"Well, every year we have a special day where the students get to bring in their pets," Iruka said happily. "Could you take care of the pets for me during class, please?"

Sasuke shrugged. It wasn't like a bunch of dumb animals could be worse than a bunch of evil children, anyway. "Sure."

"Thanks, Sasuke," Iruka said happily, as he opened the door to the classroom. "Let's go inside and I'll show you where the animals are going to go."

"Hn," Sasuke muttered, following him inside.

He had no idea of the horrors to come.

----------

Sakura smiled to herself as she walked down the hall of the hospital, thinking about all she had done to help Sasuke. She turned down the way, taking a different route towards the room she was going to.

She smiled kindly at her patient as she swapped out his medication and left the room to go to the next room.

_Sasuke probably really likes those kids,_ she thought proudly.

And to think; all of this was because of her! She was so happy with herself! She figured that she should've told Sasuke that _she_ had recommended him.

"I'll tell him that it was my suggestion the next time I see him," she decided aloud.

_Sasuke will be so happy that he might even ask me out!_ She added mentally.

Sure, there were a lot of people who had thought she was over the Uchiha – _she'd_ been one of them! But, being around him again was causing her to revert back to her old ways.

She was better now, though, and knew that her suggestion had been the absolute kindest thing anyone had ever done for Sasuke.

It _was_, right?

----------

_So,_ Sasuke thought as he examined his surroundings. _This is where I'm going to be keeping the animals._

He was standing in the doorway of the room he'd been painted in yesterday. He fought back a shudder as he remembered the humiliation he had suffered. Turning to Iruka, he nodded his approval, since he could find no reason _not_ to accept the offer.

Iruka smiled, before going back into the hall towards his classroom.

Sasuke walked over and grabbed the desk, pulling it over to the far left-hand corner. He dragged the chair along as well, putting it behind the desk. He wanted to clear the way so that the animals would have enough room to wander around without bugging him.

He then commenced the actions of removing all sharp things from the animals' reach, considering Iruka had given him plenty of rules.

_Make sure the animals can't find anything to hurt themselves with._

Sasuke nodded in satisfaction once he'd stored all pointy and painful objects in his desk.

_Be sure there's nothing they can eat that's small, or animal hazardous._

Once Sasuke had placed all small items and pencils out of the way, he brushed his hands together.

_Pull out the bowls in the cabinets and fill them up. Make sure you fill the bowls with different foods for the different animals._

Sasuke did as he recalled, filling up the different food dishes with separate foods.

Once he was satisfied with all of his work, Sasuke turned around to go to his desk – only to be tackled to the ground by a huge, black dog.

"Aaaah!" he wailed, shocked by the sudden attack. He was about ready to kill the thing when he saw her.

Iria was standing over the dog with a large smile on her face.

"Hi, Sasuke-sensei!" she said happily, pulling her dog back by the leash. "Do you like Frisky?"

"'Frisky'?" Sasuke repeated blandly, staring at the girl as he stood up.

"He's my dog!" she replied, gesturing to her pet.

Sasuke's eye twitched, but he nodded. "It's definitely a dog."

"Yep! He's _my_ dog!" she added, stretching. "Here you go!" she said happily, holding the leash out to him. "Iruka-sensei said that _you'd_ take care of the pets, so, thanks!"

"Er, sure," Sasuke muttered, taking the leash. He watched as the young girl giggled and ran off to get back to class.

Sasuke stared down at the dog on the other end of the leash. It wasn't a very pretty dog, but not a totally disgusting dog. Sasuke sighed.

He hated it already.

He managed to drag the dog across the room, tying it to the doorknob of the classroom's closet. He smirked as the dog realized it could no longer go anywhere.

He walked over to his desk and sat down behind it, closing his eyes as he waited for the other children to show up.

He hoped Tai would come down with the flu for two months and not be allowed to come to school the entire time.

That would be wonderful.

These murderous-if-not-cruel thoughts continued to register in his brain until he felt something heavy, warm, and _furry_ plop down on his lap.

He opened his eyes to find a huge white cat lying right on is lap, its eyes half lidded and its 'expression' one of boredom.

Makoto stared at Sasuke blandly, waiting for his reaction to the fluffy animal.

Sasuke stared at the cat, then up at Makoto. "Did you put this thing in my lap?"

"No. She jumped up there," Makoto muttered. It was obvious that he was embarrassed of the little thing. Sasuke couldn't say he blamed the boy.

A white cat was extremely girly.

"What's your problem?" Sasuke asked, figuring that this might entertain him.

"I didn't want to bring this cat."

"Then why didn't you bring something else?" Sasuke asked monotonously, watching the boy in mild curiosity.

"Because this cat is the only thing I have as a pet. Mom's allergic to dogs, Dad hates fish, and sis hates anything with more, or less, than four legs."

Sasuke bit back the urge to snicker at the boy's unfortunate lifestyle. He nodded. "Oh," he muttered, before looking down at the cat. "What's 'her' name?"

"Cat."

"Your cat's name is . . . Cat?" Sasuke repeated. He shrugged, gesturing to the door. "I'll take care of Cat. Get to class," he stated firmly. Makoto nodded, and then ran off towards the classroom.

Sasuke was brought many other animals, including lizards, ferrets, birds, and snakes (which weren't a very pleasant reminder for him, either). He was just thinking he was finished collecting animals when the Devil-Child walked in.

Tai had arrived, and he held a cage in his hand. Sasuke watched the boy impassively as he walked over and set the cage on the desk. "Here. This is Legs," he stated. "He's my pet. Don't squash him," he added, before going out of the room.

Sasuke was, quite frankly, surprised that the boy hadn't made a smart comment, or an insult.

Now he was suspicious.

He tried his best to remain calm as he took his feet off of the desk. He'd propped them up comfortably a few moments before Tai had walked in.

What sat in the cage before him sent shivers up and down his spine.

There was a _huge_ tarantula sitting right in the middle of the cage, all of it's beady black eyes staring straight at him.

There was _one_ thing left that scared Sasuke, and that was spiders. He took a deep breath, and stood up.

_It's in the cage, and I'm not. I've got nothing to worry about. All I have to do is make sure that the spider stays _in_ the cage, and I'll be fine . . . _he thought reassuringly.

He was right, too. If he kept himself and the spider apart, he would be fine. He sighed as he looked over at "Frisky", only to see the dog doing exactly what it _shouldn't_, right over the wooden floor. He growled.

_Stupid dog!_ He thought bitterly, as the dog walked away from it's business and laid down on the ground. Sasuke sighed as he walked off and got some paper towels, cleaning up the terrible mess. He walked into the restroom, flushing the stuff down the toilet.

He turned and opened the door to the restroom, only to have a thick, white substance fall like powder all over him. He coughed and sneezed, unsure of what this stuff was.

One would think he would learn to watch what doors he opened.

He scowled as he brushed himself off, clearing himself off. He stormed down the hallway, turning to go back into his room.

As soon as he opened the door, all of the animals in the room that _could _bounded over to him and tackled him to the ground.

One of the dogs began to lick his face fervently, while the cat began kneading his upper thigh. He winced as its claw came frightfully close to a part of his body that he would've liked to keep safe.

The bird nipped at his hair, and a rat shimmered up his pants leg, causing him to feel _very_ uncomfortable. He tried to get up, but Frisky, the dog licking his face, was too big for that.

It wouldn't let him get up.

He winced as the rat ran up one pants leg, then down the other, and then finally ran up his shirt. He struggled under all of the pets, letting out a frustrated growl each time they merely shifted.

Finally, he managed to get his arms under the heavy mutt and shove it off of him. He shuddered at the thought of the buckets of slobber that was covering his face. Not to mention the many split ends from the bird.

He muttered inaudible curses to himself as he walked back over to the desk, taking a seat.

He immediately froze as he examined the desk.

The spider was missing, and it was somewhere in this room.

And he seemed to be attracting a lot of animals' attention lately.

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**_I hope you enjoyed Chapter seven! Please review!_**

**_Shebby_**


	8. Disaster Around Every Corner

**Authoress's Note:** I wanted to give everyone a fair warning on the fact that this chapter is a little more serious than my other chapters. It _does _have humor in it, though, just a little scattered. :) I hope you enjoy! Here's _Chapter Eight: Disaster Around Every Corner._

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, or the characters, I just own the pets and students. Thanks!

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**Disaster around every corner**

_I wonder if Sasuke's realized that I set legs' cage door to open . . . I hope he doesn't mind spiders . . . _Tai thought with a smile as he watched Iruka go on with a boring lecture.

"Tai, is there something you'd like to share with the class?" Iruka asked, watching his grinning student.

"No, Iruka-sensei," Tai said honestly. He really didn't want to reveal his plan to the group, because then it would be ended.

"Then pay attention," Iruka stated, before turning back to the figure on the black-board that he had been explaining about.

Tai sighed softly. Man, this was seriously un-amusing. He found torturing Sasuke much more fun, and couldn't help but wish Iruka would just go off on a meeting again.

----------

Sasuke shuddered as he looked around the room cautiously. It was somewhere in this room, and he _had_ to find it before it found out how to achieve world domination – or worse; how to make human-on-a-stick over bar-b-queue!

Okay, so, his paranoia was causing his imagination to work a little over time, but he really did want to find this spider before it touched him.

He shot up from his seat and began to scrutinize his desk; carefully checking all of the cracks and dents in it to make sure the spider wasn't located anywhere inside of it. Once he was satisfied that it was absolutely _not_ in the desk, he set out across the room to find it.

"A spider can't get far," he muttered to himself as he checked under a sheet of paper, then in the closet. "So, where would it be?"

He growled lightly to himself as he searched a few more places, finally coming to a stop by the book shelf. His eyes widened.

The spider sat right on top of Charlotte's Web.

Was this an omen that the spiders were intelligent?

He quickly shook his head of the thought, quickly striding over to pick up the cage. Just as he was about to go to the bookshelf, the entire cage fell apart, leaving plastic shards lying on the ground. His eye twitched.

This was Tai's fault.

He growled as he walked over to one of the shelves and picked up a plastic jar, before proceeding over to the bookshelf.

With the utmost caution and attention, Sasuke inched forward to get the spider. He _almost_ had it trapped when the oddest of things happened.

A deep rumbling sound came from _under_ him. It was the strangest thing Sasuke had ever heard. He looked down, and the floor began to tremble, causing Sasuke to nearly lose his balance.

What was this strange thing?

He grabbed a hold of a nearby door, using it to help steady him self as the ground continued to shake and rumble, the trembles becoming faster and fiercer.

Sasuke staggered over to the window and was just about to pull it open when a huge crack broke through it, and it shattered into a million pieces. Sasuke quickly covered his eyes to shield himself from the shards; his hands and arms getting a few scrapes along the way.

He looked back at the window, realizing that not only had the crack gone through the window, but was also descending up and down the wall. He bit his lower lip, and then stumbled over to Cat and Frisky. He grabbed the dog by the leash and picked the cat up. He dragged both over to the shattered window and dropped them on the ground so that they could get out of the rumbling Academy.

He grabbed the rest of what he could of the animals, a few of them jumping out of their own free will.

Sasuke shuddered at the thought of having to grab the tarantula, but he didn't have a choice. The room gave a fierce jerk and sent him sprawling to the ground as the ceiling cracked and parts of it crumbled.

He struggled to his feet, going over to the bookshelf. He went to reach for where the spider had been; only to find that it had vanished again.

"Oh, for the love of Kami . . ." he muttered angrily, before the floor shook again and sent the bookcase swaying. Sasuke backed up, and then turned to get out of dodge – a second too late. The bookshelf came crashing down on top of his leg, earning a pained gasp from Sasuke.

The Uchiha winced as he maneuvered his body around so he was facing the bookshelf. He carefully slipped his fingers under the top shelf and heaved with all of his might, barely shifting the heavy bookcase. It was extremely thick, made of a heavy wood.

_This isn't working,_ he thought as he tried to pry it off of him again, only to have a huge piece of the ceiling crack. Before Sasuke could say anything, or even make a sound, a piece crumbled out of the ceiling and crashed down on the bookshelf.

Now Sasuke couldn't feel his leg anymore, and the bookcase was too heavy to even _think_ about moving.

He tried again anyway, and was shocked when the bookcase moved easily.

_What the-_

"Sasuke! Are you okay?!" Iruka asked while staring at his 'assistant' with worry on his tan features.

"Yeah," Sasuke replied, climbing to his feet (his one was terribly sore, but not broken). "We have to get out of he–"

He was cut off as the building jerked again, sending both of the men to the ground. Sasuke growled. "What _is_ this?!"

"It's an earthquake," Iruka said hurriedly. "I've gotten most of the students out – but a few got left behind. Before I could get to them, the north wing of the Academy collapsed down and restricted me. I can't slip through the rocks that are there – but you can, Sasuke. I need your help!"

"Fine," Sasuke said, getting up. "Get out of here; I'll find them."

"Thank you. The building is still unstable, so be careful, Sasuke," Iruka said, before jumping out the window hurriedly to go consult his other students.

Sasuke groaned. Why did this always happen to him!? He quickly ran to the door and pulled it open.

A _very_ bad idea to do when the building is collapsing. The door frame bent, and then completely collapsed – crushing both the door and the wall it had been in. Now Sasuke was stuck in the room. He backed up as the wall parts crumbled down.

_I can't get through this,_ he thought, before doing a few hand-signs. "Katon: Hōsenka no Jutsu!" he said, as a few large balls of fire shot out of his mouth, creating a large hole in the rock-wall.

He quickly jumped through the hole, before it collapsed completely and the hole sealed up completely. He coughed at the smoke, before going down the hall to try to find the children.

Sasuke turned the corner, heading towards the next room. This room appeared to be in pretty stable condition, so he began to run towards the other halls, nearly losing his balance again as the Academy gave a few last jerks, before the earthquake finally ended.

He wheeled around one corner, and stopped dead in his tracks. There was the large rock pile that had stopped Iruka from getting inside. The man had been right; there was no way he would have fit through. Sasuke knew that _he_ would barely make it through.

He grabbed one part of the wall and carefully placed his head through the gap, and then followed with the rest of his body. Once he was through, he began to go down the hall.

This hall was in shambles. Rocks were piled everywhere, some of the rooms were blocked off, and there was no way he could get inside to look.

_This is bad,_ he thought, looking around the area as he looked for the abandoned children. _How am I supposed to find them?_

Sasuke heard a loud crack above, and darted ahead just before a piece of the ceiling crashed down where he had been. His eyes widened. If he didn't get out of here soon, he'd end up looking like a pancake!

He began to walk at a faster pace. "Hello?" he called, his voice echoing off of the walls. He didn't hear anything, so he called again.

"S-Sasuke-sensei?" Someone called out from down the hall. Sasuke quickly darted ahead to find out who it was, only to see a young girl and a few other students that were trapped in a deep gap in the ground.

"Is everyone okay?" Sasuke called down, looking over the group.

"N-no," the girl replied, her voice trembling from fright. "T-Tai . . . I think he broke his ankle."

So, Tai was down there. Sasuke had the evil thought of leaving the kid behind, but, he knew he couldn't do that.

Even if it would be fun to watch.

He sighed. "Is everyone else okay?"

"Y-yeah," Makoto replied, looking up at Sasuke as he walked over. "Sasuke-sensei, could you please help us out?"

"Yeah, hold on," Sasuke stated, looking around. He had to find something to help him get down there. He sighed, performing a hand seal. "Shadow Clone Jutsu," he said, as two clones of him self appeared. "Grab my legs, and don't drop me," he stated, kneeling down by the hole.

Both clones grabbed a separate ankle and carefully lowered Sasuke into the hole. He held out his arms. "One of you grab my hands! I'll pull you up," he stated, watching them all. As soon as he felt a pair of hands latch onto his, he commanded his clones to pull him up. When they did, he set the little girl on the ground next to him. "Stay there," he stated, before leaning back over and getting another child.

This continued until he was down to Tai. He didn't see the boy. He looked at the kids. "Where's Tai?"

"He's asleep down there," Makoto stated. "He won't wake up, though . . . We don't know why. We've tried to get him up . . ."

Panic rose up inside of Sasuke as he listened. "Okay, you all stay here," he stated, before jumping down into the hole. He left a rope on the outer-edge of the hole before hand, and now looked around inside. He stared at his surroundings.

Tai was lying, motionless, on the ground near the wall. Sasuke's eyes widened. He quickly made his way over to the boy, kneeling down and picking the young boy up. _This isn't good . . ._ he thought nervously. He felt the boy for a pulse, only to get a rather weak one.

He quickly walked over to the hole. "Drop the rope down here!" he shouted up. One of his clones did as told, and Sasuke grabbed a hold of it firmly. "Okay, pull me up!"

As he was doing so, one of the younger girls peered over the side. "Hey, Sasuke-sensei?"

"What?"

"I didn't know you liked spiders . . ."

"I don't," Sasuke said, as he tried to concentrate on keeping his clones in tact.

"Then why are you letting _that_ one ride on your back?"

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**_I hope you enjoyed chapter eight! Sorry if it wasn't as funny as the others. Anyway, Please review!_**

**_Shebby_**


	9. No Way!

**Authoress's Note:** Okay! I've gotten to post up another chapter! Sorry for the delay... This chapter, like the other, is a little more serious. The humor will begin to pick up again soon, though. :) So, anyway, here's _Chapter Nine: No Way!_

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, nor the characters in it. I only own the plot, the rope, Legs, and the children.

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****No Way!**

It took a few moments for the meaning of the young girl's words to sink in, and when they did, Sasuke panicked.

There was a spider on _his_ back!? His eyes searched frantically around him, as he tried to see it. Perhaps, if he _could_ see it, he'd be able to get it off! Yeah, that would work!

Unfortunately, the spider was _not_ in his line of vision.

This caused Sasuke's panic to shoot sky-high, and he had difficulty maintaining his grip on the rope with the nervous sweat on his hands. Oh, dear Lord, this was _not _a good situation.

Here he was the greatest and most powerful (not to mention last) Uchiha alive, holding a little boy, with a huge spider on his back. He bit his lower lip in concentration, until he felt little tingling sensation going along his back.

It was, of course, nothing but paranoia – but when there was a _real_ spider on his back mixed in with the tingling sensation, it wasn't a good thing. His panic reached maximum.

He lost all of his concentration, and he slipped down on the rope a little. Just as he thought he was safe, the spider crawled _right_ onto the top of his blue-haired head. His eyes widened in shock as he saw one of it's feet dangling in front of his face.

With a startled cry, he lost it. Both of his clones (the only things grabbing the rope) vanished, and he was sent plummeting back into the rather-deep hole. He shut his eyes tightly, gripping Tai hard, but he soon realized that his death had been stalled.

He looked up, only to see the little kids grabbing onto the rope.

"Sasuke-sensei, hold on!" Makoto yelled down, having been the first to grab the rope. Sasuke stared up, watching in horror as some of the children's feet began to slip.

The young girl who had told him about the spider seemed frantic. "I-I'm going to go get Sensei!" she announced, before running out of Sasuke's line of vision.

Sasuke shuddered as he felt the spider shift on his head. The quicker the girl was, the better he would feel. He stared up at the kids, who were slowly beginning to slide towards the hole. He froze, trying to think of a way to get them to stop. An idea dawned on him.

"Quick! Focus your chakra into your feet – all of you!" he shouted up.

"What?" Makoto called back, staring in confusion as his feet creeped closer and closer to the hole.

Sasuke paused for a moment. "Your chakra – the blue stuff you can feel charging through your veins! Focus all of your energy into your feet!" he shouted hurriedly. These children, even though he hated to admit it, were his only chance at surviving this. The pit he and Tai were in was extremely deep.

He nearly cried in relief when he saw the blue aura around the kids' feet. He knew immediately that they had done it. "Good – now just keep focused on that, okay?" he asked. He knew he couldn't move around too much, or the children would lose their grips. This situation was extremely dangerous.

And then, the worse happened. The ground underneath Makoto cracked and broke loose, causing the young boy to plummet towards the floor. Sasuke was sent swinging towards the wall at the lessened length of the rope. He saw Makoto, and with a burst of chakra in his foot, he caught the boy by his shoe. Makoto, his eyes widened in fear, grabbed Sasuke's leg with a tight death grip.

Sasuke couldn't help it. He was really worried about how well those kids up above him were holding up – enough to have almost forgotten about the spider.

Almost, that is.

He recalled its presence as soon as it crawled _right_ onto his face, and he emitted a shrill shout. He was _really_ beginning to hate this thing!

He shut his eyes immediately, trying to focus on holding the unconscious Tai and the paralyzed-in-fear Makoto. He was shocked to suddenly feel a shift.

_What is this?_ Sasuke wondered as he felt himself being pulled up. There was _no_ way that those kids were strong enough to pull him up!

"Don't worry, Sasuke-kun! I'll have you up in a second!" An annoyingly familiar voice called. Sasuke couldn't have cared _less_ about how annoying the voice was, though.

He was finally secured with a safe getaway! Even with the unnerving thought that it was _Sakura_ of all people who was saving him, he couldn't really complain about it.

He was never happier to see real land. Sakura grabbed his shirt collar, and Naruto (who had come with her) grabbed Tai. Makoto got off of Sasuke's leg with his own free will.

As soon as Sasuke was given his freedom, his hands shot up to his poor, pale face. He ran his hands over his it, brushing the spider off with tremendous, paranoid shudders. He tingled all over, but he didn't care. The sight of the spider crawling away on the _ground_ instead of _him _was good enough for the Uchiha.

He was shocked when the little kids ran up and hugged his legs. All he could do was stare.

"Sasuke-sensei, thank you!" The little girl who had gone for help said happily. The other children mimicked the thanks, and it took Sasuke a moment to realize the trouble with this situation.

"Save your thanks for later," he stated firmly. "We've got to get out of this building," he added, as he carefully pried the little kids off of his legs.

"Come on," he stated, walking towards the large blockage. He was mildly surprised when the kids followed with out a problem, each looking happy to just get out of there.

It wasn't like he could blame them, though.

"Aww, it's okay," he heard Sakura say from behind him. He turned to see Sakura cooing at the Makoto, who still looked shaken from his near-death experience.

Sasuke motioned for everyone to follow Naruto towards the entrance, and walked towards Sakura. She was holding Tai.

"I'll carry him," Sasuke stated. Sakura looked confused, and stared for a moment.

"What?"

"I'll carry Tai," Sasuke sighed, being more direct this time. He gestured to the limp body in Sakura's arms. "Give him to me, and you can take care of Makoto."

Sakura was about to refuse giving up her patient, when it hit her. Sasuke actually remembered the names of some of the students! He must have been growing bonds with them! She carefully held out the boy, to which Sasuke took graciously, and turned back to comfort Makoto.

Sasuke motioned for them both to follow, before carrying Tai towards the hole he had entered in – not completely dismayed when he realized that some of the Jounin and Chuunin had been clearing away the stones.

----------

"Foolish little brother, did you honestly believe that you could defeat me so easily?" Itachi asked monotonously, watching Sasuke with very little interest as he lied there in a bloody heap upon the ground.

Sasuke stared up at his brother with pure hatred burnt deep into his eyes and soul. He coughed up a little blood, before nodding. "Y-yes," he said, finally acknowledging the fact that he had kept hidden. "I've always believed . . . That I could defeat you easily."

"And tell me, Sasuke, did your belief help you win?" Itachi drawled, toying with his younger brother now.

"Yes," Sasuke coughed, before turning into a log. The real Sasuke was behind Itachi, his sword held against the older Uchiha's back. A brief look of shock appeared in Itachi's red eyes, but it soon faded.

"Very good, Sasuke," Itachi stated. "But have you gotten over your fear?"

"Fear? I _have _no fear," Sasuke retorted angrily, pressing the kunai harder against Itachi's back. Itachi smirked. "We shall see."

And with that, Itachi turned into a cloud of smoke, the real one standing in front of a huge horde of spiders, each about as big as Itachi himself.

Sasuke froze in terror. What _was_ this?! Why – _how_ were there so many spiders, and how were they so huge!? He backed up, as each of the spiders crept forward with a hand signal from Itachi.

Sasuke backed up to each step the spiders took, but it didn't help him. Eventually, the spiders caught up, and Sasuke was engulfed in a black swarm of tarantulas.

"AHHH!" Sasuke screamed, shooting up in his bed abruptly. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm his nerves. His Sharingan was spinning wheels in his head, and he closed his eyes to deactivate it.

When he finally opened his eyes and looked down, he stiffened. There was a huge tarantula resting on his hand.

He screamed again, before falling straight out of his bed. He jumped up off of the floor, only to feel a sharp pain in his ankle. He looked at the bed.

He'd only seen a shadow in the blanket.

He sighed in relief, before rubbing his head painfully. Maybe he was just paranoid. Yeah, that's it. He was only paranoid.

He stalked towards the door sleepily, leaning against it as he threw a shoe at the alarm clock – a habit that usually helped him when he had bad dreams about Itachi.

Or just when he felt like it.

As he shook off the last remembrance of his nightmare, he couldn't help but smirk at Itachi's behavior. The man had acted strangely . . . Different. It made Sasuke smirk at the thought of _Itachi_ being that way.

He was only able to smirk because his brother was dead, and there was no possible way that he could ever behave in such a way.

And there wasn't a huge tarantula sitting in front of him, right?

Wrong.

He jumped back immediately, grabbing his smashed alarm clock. One could never tell what a spider was going to next! They acted so innocent, but Sasuke _knew_ that they were just planning their evil plans!

He took a deep breath, trying to calm down. He was just about to chunk the clock at the spider. He took his aim carefully, cocked his arm back, and––

"Sasuke-sensei, are you okay?" Tai asked, staring at the man with mild curiosity. He had been carrying Legs around in a cage after he'd found out what had happened to Sasuke. He had been planning on giving the spider to Sasuke as a thank-you, but in seeing Sasuke's reaction (and the alarm clock), he was beginning to think otherwise. He was now planning on giving the spider to Sasuke as a way of 'having fun'.

Sasuke gathered his nerves, pride, and concentration up before nodding. "I'm fine. I just wasn't expecting you . . . Or Legs," he added, keeping a wary eye on the spider.

"Is something wrong?" Tai repeated, noticing Sasuke's odd looks. He was curious, and he enjoyed trying to get Sasuke to admit whatever was on his mind.

"No," Sasuke replied with a little bite in his tone. "I'm fine," he added. "Are you supposed to be out of the hospital?"

"Yeah," Tai muttered, looking down at his ankle. It was wrapped in a tight cast, and his head was bandaged up pretty tightly as well. "Sakura-san said that I could leave . . . Er . . . Thanks, Sasuke-sensei, for saving me and the others."

"Whatever," Sasuke shrugged. He turned to Legs again. "Why did you bring him?"

"I wanted to give him to you," Tai replied, limping over and holding out the spider's cage. "For a thank you."

Sasuke knew that he wasn't going to be able to refuse this thing. He suppressed a shudder, but accepted the cage. "Your welcome," he said, setting the spider on the stand by his bed. "I've got to go help fix the Academy. You'd better be going too," he said, before walking out the door.

Tai nodded, waving before he was sure Sasuke was out of the room. He smirked.

Why did the smart ones always leave him alone so stupidly? Didn't they know that _he_ was smart too?

----------

Sakura, who had been thinking about how much Sasuke had refused to let go of Tai, met up with Sasuke as he left the house. She'd just 'happened' to be outside of it. "Sasuke-kun, how are you today?"

"I'm fine."

"Great," Sakura smiled. "So, what are you doing today with the kids?"

"I'm going to fix the Academy," he replied stoically. _Why can't she just leave me alone?_

"Really? That sounds fun," Sakura smiled. "So, have you figured out who set you up for this job?"

"No," Sasuke stated. _And when I do, they die._

"Well, _I_ know who it was."

This actually caught Sasuke's attention. He turned and looked straight at Sakura. "Who was it?"

_Oh! He's so happy, he can't wait to find out who did it!_ Sakura thought wrongly. She smiled brightly at him.

"It was me!"

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**_I hope you enjoyed it! I hope I didn't leave out _too_ much comedy, and I'm sorry if Itachi seemed OOC. It _was_ a dream/nightmare, so, he wasn't exactly_ supposed _to be_ _in_ _character. Anyway, please review!_**

**_Shebby_**


	10. Through Thick and Therapy

**Authoress's Note:** Okay! Here is _Chapter Ten; Through Thick and Therapy_! I hope you enjoy it! The comedy is going to start picking up much quicker now. :D Anyway, enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters it provides. I _do_ own the students, plot, and Legs. :) Enjoy!

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****Through Thick and Therapy**

_It was me!_

These words shot through Sasuke like a bullet riding a freight train. Why was it that he had thought of everyone in the village that could have done this to him, and Sakura's name had never shown up?

It was because he had _thought_ she'd liked him. Apparently he had been wrong, as he now knew.

"It was _you_?" Sasuke asked with a clipped tone. "_You_ did this to me?"

"Yes, Sasuke-kun, it was me," Sakura said, feeling quite pleased with herself. She had absolutely no clue what she was digging herself into.

"_Why_? _Why_ did you do this to me?!" Sasuke growled, his Sharingan threatening to flare up.

Sakura seemed to start understanding, Sasuke thought, since she seemed to have calmed down her excitement.

He was wrong.

A huge smile plastered across Sakura's face. "I did it because you were bored, and I figured you'd like some company!"

"Sakura – when have I _ever_ wanted company?!" Sasuke snapped. "I do not _need_ company! I would have been _fine_ if this hadn't of happened!"

"But, Sasuke-kun, aren't you happy with the kids?" Sakura asked, confused now.

"Sakura, I have had side dishes smashed in my face, I've been covered in paint – which _still _hasn't faded completely, and I've had a freakin' spider on my head! Do you _honestly_ think I am happy with these kids?!?!"

Sakura took a light step back. Sasuke seemed to really be mad. She had to look twice to make sure that she didn't see steam rising off of his head. "Sasuke-kun, I . . . I was just trying to help," she said softly.

"Well keep your help and ideas _away_ from me," he snapped, before turning on his heel, shoving his hands in his pockets, and going off to the Academy that he was already late for.

He didn't notice anything about the hurt expression on Sakura's face.

----------

Later that afternoon, as Sasuke was helping to put up a few boards on the Academy's classrooms, Iria came running up to him. "Sasuke-sensei, Iruka-sensei wants to see you," she reported.

"Okay, whatever," Sasuke muttered, before finishing with the board and following the little girl to go find where Iruka was. When they arrived, Iruka waved the young girl off and turned to Sasuke.

"Hello, Sasuke-san."

"Iruka," Sasuke replied stoically.

"Hokage-sama sent someone by a few minutes ago," Iruka reported. "She wants to see you in her office. You're dismissed for today."

"Okay," Sasuke shrugged, before stalking off towards the lair of the devil herself.

_What could she want? _Sasuke wondered boredly as he strolled towards the tower. He tried to rack his brain for a decent explanation, but he couldn't find one.

And then it hit him. He figured Sakura had probably mentioned his comments this morning.

Maybe, he thought, Sakura got Tsunade to let me stop my job.

This thought made Sasuke walk a little faster than before. If he could quit this punishment, he'd be the happiest man on earth.

----------

"Come in," Tsunade ordered, as Sasuke pulled open the doors to her office. He was surprised to see Juugo inside, helping Shizune out with some boxes.

"Why is _he_ here?" he asked stoically.

"Juugo is a very good help in the office," Tsunade stated. "Shizune and I are grateful for his services."

"Whatever," Sasuke said blankly. "Why am I here?"

"Because Sakura told me what you said to her earlier, and I wanted to talk to you about something."

_Yes! Maybe she really _will_ let me off!_ He thought with some hope. "What do you want to talk to me about?" he asked, trying to keep his tone as level as possible.

"I don't appreciate it when people treat my students so rudely," Tsunade stated. "And I think you could learn a lesson from what I'm going to have you do."

Sasuke's hope plummeted back into the shadows. Tsunade was beginning to scare him now. Who on earth could possibly be more ruthless to him?

"What are you going to have me do?"

"I'm sending you into a special program," Tsunade stated. "It will help you think straighter."

Sasuke suppressed the urge to shudder. "What program?"

"I'm sending you into therapy," Tsunade said, hiding her sinister smile. She figured this would be great punishment. "And if you don't go for two weeks, then you will be given four months of probation in which you will take care of the children _and _escort Karin and Sakura."

Sasuke's eye twitched at the thought of this. Tsunade really was mean to him. "Humph, whatever," Sasuke huffed, crossing his arms. "When do I start?"

"In about . . . Ten minutes. Don't be late, or your punishment holds up," Tsunade said, holding back her grin.

Sasuke was already gone.

She really did love torturing the boy.

----------

Sasuke huffed as he finally came to a stop in front of the building he had seen before when he was younger. Itachi had told him it was a therapeutic place for maniacs.

Why was _he_ here, then, and Itachi never had been?

Because the devil did strange things to him that slightly disturbed him, considering she seemed to enjoy threatening his sanity.

He sighed as he walked in, trying to keep calm. A girl at the front desk informed him that he was to go to the back room, and he reluctantly did as told. He walked in, only to find Izumo and Kotetsu there, along with Sai and Naruto.

There was also Neji, Jiraiya, and Shikamaru.

Sasuke mentally sighed, not really bothering to ask what was bugging him:

Why the heck were all of _these_ people here?

"Hi, Sasuke!" Naruto grinned, waving. "Whatcha doin' here, huh?"

"Idiot," Sasuke muttered. "Leave me alone."

"Did those kids finally drive you to the edge of insanity?" Shikamaru asked lazily. "They would if it were me."

"Shut it, Nara," Sasuke growled as he took a seat by Kotetsu.

"Anyone know who our therapy person is?" Izumo asked as he held a bag of ice to his forehead.

"I _did_ know who it was," Kotetsu stated. "But I forgot."

"Then we're back to square one," Naruto muttered.

"Does it matter?" Neji asked stoically. "We're all here. Whoever it is that's going to be bothering us isn't going to matter. It matters what they do."

"Why are _you_ here anyway, Hyuuga?" Sai asked, staring at the white-eyed 'genius'.

"That is none of your concern," Neji bit back, giving one of his glares.

Sasuke mentally groaned. This was going to be _so_ bad if these people didn't shut their freakin' mouths. He was already aggravated enough.

"Oi, Sasuke," Naruto commented off handedly.

"What?"

"There's a spider on your chair."

"What?!?" Sasuke asked, jumping up instantly.

Naruto laughed. "Nah, gotcha! So, that kid was right," he grinned. "You _are_ scared of spiders! Aww, wait until I tell Sakura-chan!"

"You do, and you _die_."

"Especially since when he tells Sakura, it's going to spread to Ino, then to the entire village," Shikamaru sighed. "It'll be the next gossip over the week. Man, it's going to be _such_ a drag hearing about spiders everywhere I go . . ."

"You'll be a celebrity, Uchiha," Neji stated cockily.

Sasuke glared at the three. "Shove a sock in it," he growled.

"Shove a sock _where_?" Naruto asked, grinning like a fool. "In my new pet spider's mouth? I can do that, and then I'll send it to you," he laughed.

"That's not funny, Naruto," Sasuke growled.

"I found it amusing," Sai said stoically.

"Hey, at least _I'm_ not gay," Sasuke stated angrily.

"I am _not_ gay," Sai stated, narrowing his eyes slightly. "And you are, apparently, from what I heard about you and Naruto kissing that time from the Academy."

"You two are gay?" Jiraiya asked, looking at Sasuke and Naruto. He smiled. "That would make a perfect book! It would be a best seller with the ladies!" he announced, getting close to the two. "So, tell me, what's it like to be gay?"

"I am _not_ gay!" Naruto and Sasuke shouted in unison.

"That's denial for you," Shikamaru muttered.

"I'm not in denial!" Sasuke snapped. "I'm defending myself from the lies!"

"Yeah, what he said!" Naruto growled.

"What do you think, Izumo? Are they gay?" Kotetsu asked.

"Seems like it," Izumo shrugged.

Sasuke glared at him. "You and Kotetsu are the ones who are gay! You're Chuunin, and you both can't stay away from each other!"

"Hey, we are _not_ gay," Kotetsu insisted.

"Look, he's standing up for his partner," Sai nodded.

Izumo sweatdropped. "Okay, seriously, we're not gay. Never have been, never will be."

"Uh-huh, _likely_ story," Jiraiya said, smirking. "So, now that we have two gay couples in the same room, could you tell me what it's like being in a relationship with another male?"

"SHUT IT!" Sasuke, Naruto, Izumo, and Kotetsu all shouted at once.

"But–"

"Seriously, be quiet," Kotetsu growled.

"I–"

"NO!" Naruto snapped.

Before Jiraiya could try to start another sentence, the door to the room swung open, and in stepped one of the scariest people on earth. Neji, Sasuke, Shikamaru, and Naruto's eyes all widened (some more than others), while Izumo, Kotetsu, and Sai managed to keep their surprise to a minimum. Jiraiya, on the other hand, was drooling himself dry.

Anko Mitarashi stood at the door, a sly smirk on her face.

* * *

**_Okay! There's chapter ten for you! I hope you enjoyed! Please review!_**

**_Shebby_**

**_I am quite interested to know why you think Izumo, Kotetsu, Shikamaru, Neji, Naruto, Sai, and Jiraiya are in therapy, so, please let me know in your review, okay? I'm quite curious. XD_**


	11. Confessions and Laughter

**Authoress's Note:** Hi! I apologize for such a long wait on the update, but I've got family down and things have been hectic. Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this chapter!! I hope to keep everyone in character. :) Anyway, this story's coming to an end soon, although I don't wish to see it end. So, without further delay, here's _Chapter Eleven: Confessions and Laughter._

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, or the characters it portrays. I own the plot, the students, and Legs. Nothing more. Thank you, and enjoy.

**

* * *

****Confessions and Laughter**

"Okay, Maggots, first thing first - who are you, and why are you here?" Anko asked, crossing her arms of her metal-meshed chest.

"To see you, lovely lady," Jiraiya grinned, a hopeful glint in his eyes. Anko stared at him, a look of disbelief and disturbance in her eyes. "No," she growled, before turning to Shikamaru. "We'll start with you. Why are you here, and who are you?"

"I'm nobody, here for no reason at all, other than to get bored and fall asleep during this thing," Shikamaru yawned, leaning against the back of his chair lazily. His reason was the real one. He hadn't even been here on orders.

Sasuke shook his head. What an idiot. If the man had wanted to go to sleep, he should have just gone to listen to one of Iruka's lectures. Didn't he know that?

Anko muttered something under her breath, obviously not pleased with Shikamaru's answer. "What do you mean 'I'm nobody', Nara?" she growled, staring at him sternly.

"Because I'm not really anyone of importance, therefore; I am nobody," Shikamaru replied.

Anko glared at him, but restrained herself from practically strangling him. She turned to Sasuke. "Okay, how about you? Who are you, and why are you here?"

"Uchiha Sasuke, and because I got snitched on," Sasuke replied boredly.

"Snitched on?" Naruto asked, looking at him. "For what – and who was it that snitched?"

"For yelling at Sakura, and Sakura," Sasuke stated stoically. Naruto's eyes flashed angrily.

"You yelled at Sakura-chan?!?! How _dare_ you, Sasuke?!? I knew you were a jerk – but that's going too far!"

"So?" Sasuke asked, crossing his arms. "I really don't care. I just wanted her off of my back."

Naruto stood up furiously, pulling his fist back. "You need to learn–"

"Okay, that's enough!" Anko ordered, whacking Naruto with her 'behavior stick' that she had gotten earlier in the day. "We're moving on, now. So, Uzumaki," she stated, looking at the blonde, who was seating himself again. "Why are _you_ here?"

"You're not going to ask who I am . . ." Naruto said questioningly, staring at Anko in confusion.

"Naruto, _everyone_ knows who you are," Shikamaru muttered. "You always go around saying 'I'm Naruto Uzumaki, and I'm going to be the next Hokage!' "

Naruto grinned. "Awesome! So everyone knows who I am?!"

"Way to blow up his ego sky high," Sasuke muttered. Anko sighed, seeing as this was going to take _forever_.

"ENOUGH! Now, Naruto, tell us why you're here!"

"Uh . . . Because Granny Tsunade said that I have too short of an attention span and I get mad too quickly; even though I disagree," Naruto reported.

"You disagree with that? You're a larger fool than I took you for," Neji stated. Naruto glared at him. "I am _not_ a fool!" he shouted.

"Way to prove your point," Sasuke stated. Naruto pointed his glare at him.

"Oh, just shut your mouths, all of you!" Anko shouted furiously. "From now on, you are _not_ to speak until I address you, do you understand?"

No one answered, earning a pointed glare from the woman. She found it obvious that this was a plan destined to fail.

She turned to Izumo and Kotetsu. "Okay. Why are _you_ two here?" she asked sharply.

"The Hokage dropped another desk on Izumo," Kotetsu sighed. "And he got mad and stormed up to 'talk' to Tsunade, and he ended up getting sent here."

Izumo muttered something under his breath about the crazy Hokage. Anko ignored Izumo and instead stared at Kotetsu. "Then why are _you_ here?"

"I came because Izumo asked me to come."

"They _are_ gay!" Naruto snorted. Both of the Chuunin turned and glared daggers into Naruto's skull, as Jiraiya scribbled away on a piece of paper he had been so lucky to bring along.

"Naruto, shut it," Anko growled, tired of the boy's statements and questions.

Naruto gave Anko a pitiful stare. "I'm no—"

"I _mean _it," she stated.

"But—"

Anko pulled out the 'behavior stick' from her overcoat and cut Naruto off by whacking him in the head with it. "Shut it, maggot!"

Naruto whimpered painfully as he rubbed his head. "_That_ really hurt– OW!"

Anko had smacked Naruto again. Naruto tried to comment, she hit him again. Naruto groaned and Anko whacked the poor boy _again_!

Finally, Naruto was quiet.

Sasuke smirked, and Anko turned towards him, an evil smile on her face. Sasuke's sense of security and safety crashed down like Naruto's head when he'd been dropped on it as a baby.

"Don't mock the other patients," she said darkly, stepping towards Sasuke.

_Oh God, she's going to kill me!_ Sasuke thought, his mentality trying to scope out a memorized exit.

"Or things will be broken."

_No killing! You are not allowed to kill me! I am the _only_ Uchiha left! You can't kill me!_

"Things can also be bent."

_What the heck is she talking about?_

"And things will be cru–"

"Okay, okay, we get the point. Things will get hurt if we mock each–Ow!"

Anko smiled to herself as she realized she'd gotten to whack Shikamaru, who was quickly becoming a pain in her butt.

"Okay," Anko said, crossing her arms over her chest. "Your turn," she said, looking at Neji.

"Hiashi-sama said I have issues with rabbits."

"_Do_ you have issues with rabbits, Hyuuga?" Anko asked, staring at him.

" . . ."

"Hyuuga, do you, or do you not?"

"I'm not at liberty to answer tha---HEY!" Neji screamed, rubbing his sore head.

"Do you or _not_?" Anko asked furiously, her stick practically steaming.

"Yes! Happy now?!"

"No. Now, what are these issues?"

Neji growled, glaring angrily at her. Anko smacked him again, trying to get her point across that he was to behave and do as she told him.

Neji growled. "Apparently, I seem to be experiencing the symptoms of seeing rabbits as pink."

"_Pink_ rabbits?" Naruto snorted. "That's hi–OUCH!"

"Stop talking, Uzamaki!" Anko snapped, before turning to Neji. "_Pink_ rabbits? That's hilarious, Hyuuga," she smirked. Naruto growled, considering that that was basically what _he_ was going to say.

Neji groaned, cursing Hiashi mentally.

Sasuke watched with curiosity, before looking over at the others. Jiraiya seemed to be eyeing the lower half of Anko's behind, Izumo and Kotetsu were quietly conversing, Shikamaru was asleep, Naruto was half unconscious, and Neji looked offended and mad.

This is going to be extremely boring, he thought, as the next half an hour was spent by arguing with Anko. He was nearly asleep himself until he was shoved by Naruto and said it was time to leave.

----------

_Holy mother of the higher power, this has been a terrible day,_ Sasuke thought grouchily as he wandered towards his home. The thought that Neji Hyuuga was afraid of bunnies certainly helped his ego, though, considering that now Naruto would be going around shrieking about that instead of him and his fear of spiders.

He turned a corner, ready to go inside, but was instead met by Ino and Tenten. He blinked, expecting them to move out of his way.

Neither of them budged an inch.

"What do you two want?" he asked boredly as he crossed his arms.

"You shouted at Sakura," Ino growled, glaring at him.

"And she's our friend – our friend that you just _happened_ to yell at," Tenten added, placing her hands on her hips.

"So?" Sasuke asked stoically. "Leave me alone. She deserved it," he added, before going around them and opening the door to his house.

The next instance he saw nothing but darkness, and felt only the hard ground before he could sense nothing else.

----------

"Did we get him?" Ino asked, looking at Tenten in puzzlement. Tenten nodded, throwing the thick two-by-four aside. "I think so. He doesn't seem to be moving."

"Did we hit him too hard?" Ino asked as she leant down and pulled Sasuke up; the man's head lolling off to the side limply.

"Nah, he just didn't expect us to get him," Tenten replied, grabbing his other arm. "It's a simple process. Now come on, we're going to take him to _that_ place."

A wicked grin spread across Ino's face as she recalled where 'that' place was. "Ooh, really?" she asked, looking at Tenten with a grin. "Sasuke-kun doesn't know what he's got in store for him."

"I still feel bad for making Neji-san our first subject."

"Don't worry about it, Tenten. Neji was the only one you could do it to that wouldn't cause suspicion."

"Yeah, but still," Tenten sighed as she dragged the unconscious Uchiha across the ground. "Do you think we'll be able to pull this off when he wakes up?"

"Did I think we could pull off cutting Neji's hair?"

"No."

"Did we?"

"No."

"Oh . . . Yeah. Never mind. Anyway, we'll pull it off!" Ino announced. "And we won't have any problems!"

"Uh-huh. Did you grab that tarantula from his counter?"

"No, why?"

"Because we can't just let it die," Tenten sweatdropped. Ino paused. "I'm not touching it!"

"I'll be back," Tenten sighed. "I'll meet you there . . ."

"Okay!" Ino grinned, as she dragged Sasuke towards their secret place.

So both girls went in a separate direction while Sasuke had disturbing dreams during his unconscious state.

They, for some reason, consisted of puppies, Itachi, and cats. It confused him, but he couldn't wake up to stop the nightmare.

Wherever he was going, with a dream like this, it usually meant it was going to end up badly.

* * *

**_I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Sorry if it wasn't as funny as the others. I'm tired, and I'm having a difficult time right now with everything that's going on. I'll make the next chapter better. Please review!_**

**_Shebby_**


	12. Girl Power!

**Authoress's Note:** YAY!!! Another chapter!! Thank you all for the reviews!!! I greatly appreciate them! This chapter was fun to write. XD Anyway, here's _Chapter Twelve; Girl Power!_

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters that it portrays. I _do_, however, own the bunnies and the tape. Thank you, and enjoy!

**

* * *

****Girl Power!**

Sasuke groaned, cracking open his eyes and staring at a white wall.

_Where am I?_

He could recall very little. He remembered a brown blur, a pale yellow blur, and a lot of head pain. He tried to rub his sore head – only to find that he could no longer move his hands.

He looked down at his hands, only to learn that he couldn't see them, so he tried moving them. He finally figured out that they were bound behind his back, and also realized that they were numb. "What the—"

A sudden bright light in his face caused him to cut off, making him shut his eyes from the harshness of its glower. His eyes stung, and he could hear shuffling going on in the room.

He heard a whisper and tuned his ears in to listen.

"The anesthetic is still in place, but he's awake – he just can't feel too well," a female reported. Sasuke heard more shuffling, and then another voice.

"Good. Get it ready. We'll start now."

_Start what?_ Sasuke thought, a sense of foreboding causing him to wish he could open his eyes – but the light was still glowing on his eyelids.

"You got it," the first girl said as more footsteps sounded, heading Sasuke's way. He could hear something going on in front of him, and finally the light flickered off. His eyes shot open.

"Who are y—huh?" he muttered, looking ahead. There was a large, white canvas in front of him, and the room was dark except for it. His brows furrowed in confusion. "What is this?"

He got no answer, causing Sasuke to emit a low growl of frustration. Whoever was doing this was going to—

His thoughts cut off as something flickered onto the canvas. He could barely make it out. It looked like a rabbit, but, it _wasn't _a rabbit – right? Rabbits didn't act like this rabbit – and they sure weren't pink, blue, or yellow.

But this rabbit, now accompanied by two others, was pink. Sasuke narrowed his eyes as he tried to figure out a plausible explanation for this . . . Disturbance.

But there was no reason.

It was just insanity that was haunting his mind, Sasuke decided. This room didn't exist. The bindings didn't exist. And the pink rabbit certainly wasn't coming towards him with its little yellow teeth bared.

Right?

Wrong.

It was smiling at him. That evil little bunny smiled.

He glared as the bunnies continued to hop along the screen, and then they suddenly got up on their hind legs and started dancing – like they do on little kids' shows.

And then, to Sasuke's horror, they started to squeak in what could barely be determined as an attempt to _sing_ of all freakin' things.

He winced as the rabbits hit an extremely high note, which to him, sounded like someone was shattering glass on blackboards as they ran the broken pieces along the board.

_Oh God, this is torture,_ he thought angrily as the terrible sound continued to ricochet through his poor eardrums.

And then, all of a sudden, more stupid rabbits came onto the screen, all singing and _dancing_. There were yellow, orange, green, and purple rabbits. There were rabbits of every color of the rainbow!

Sasuke glared at the screen, for it was the only thing that helped him to keep a hold on his sanity. This was just cruel, and whoever was behind such mastermind of the torture area deserved a gold medal for this.

He sighed in relief once the bunnies finally stopped their escapade and crawled back into their holes, leaving one left. The stupid rabbit waved before the screen went blank.

Sasuke groaned. That had been terrible. He wished he could have rubbed his temples to help get rid of his headache, but he knew that that was wishful thinking. "Who on ear—"

He cut himself off as the screen flickered on again. He, for some reason, wasn't able to stop himself from looking at it again. The same video came on, and he was forced by something to watch it.

And then it flickered on again, again, and again.

By the time that it finally quit coming on, all Sasuke could see were pink, green, and multi-colored rabbits in his mind.

He muttered something under his breath as he heard a door open and turned to see a blue-eyed girl wearing a nurse's gown and a face-mask.

Strange. He didn't remember being toxic.

"What's going on? Where am I?" he demanded, narrowing his eyes at the girl. She had strangely familiar blonde hair.

She just glanced at him, and then turned back to her work. This annoyed Sasuke immensely. "Don't ignore me! Answer my question!" he shouted angrily.

"Don't yell," the girl stated, pulling something out of a box. Sasuke tossed her back a confused look, considering her back was all he could see of her. What was she carrying?

To his horror, it was a pink rabbit. Oh Lord, he was going to die.

"Why do you have that _thing_?" Sasuke growled, trying to back away. The chair seemed to be stuck to the ground, though, and he couldn't move because of it.

"Answer me!" he snapped, glaring at her as she walked towards him. Was this why Neji was scared of pink rabbits? He couldn't blame the Hyuuga . . . His eyes widened when the rabbit was thrust right in his face. He blinked. All he could see was pink. He sneezed.

"Are you allergic to bunnies?" The girl asked, cocking her head a little.

"I don't know! I've never been around a freakin' rabbit!" Sasuke snapped, before sneezing again. "Get that thing away from me!"

"Why?"

"Who _are_ you?"

"Ino, get it away from him, I think he's allergic," A brunette said, walking inside.

The blonde growled. "Tenten, you just said my name!"

"I did? Oh, sorry," The brunette sweatdropped as she set a yellow bunny on the ground. Sasuke's eye twitched. No wonder he was sneezing. He was around Ino and, apparently, some sort of new perfume she was wearing. He narrowed his eyes at her. "Let me go _now_, Ino," he growled furiously.

"Sorry, that can't happen," Ino smiled, putting the bunny down and crossing her arms. "Well, we can't hurt him with bunnies, so what now?"

"We could cut his hair."

Sasuke's eyes widened. Cut his hair?! Were they insane or something?!

"Cut his hair? Are you sure?" Ino asked, looking back at Tenten. "Anything else we could do?"

"We could . . . Convince Tsunade-sama to make him the head of the interrogation area on that Karin girl."

Sweat began to form at the base of Sasuke's neck. These two weren't actually serious – were they? No one was _that_ cruel, were they?!

"What else?"

"Hmm . . . We could have him . . . Baby-sit Hinabi."

Sasuke shuddered at the thought. That little Hinabi wasn't so little anymore, and she'd be a freakin' pain to take care of.

"Nah, we need something better."

"Like what, then?"

"Uh . . . Let's have him work at the flower shop! Part time, of course. Karin's been allowed certain privileges, including shopping, so she ought to come around some time. It'll be nice, considering Juugo told me how much Sasuke seemed to hate her," Ino smiled, clutching her hands together blissfully.

Sasuke growled, glaring at the two. "No! Don't even _think_ about it," he snapped. "I'll kill you if you do!"

"You can't hurt us," Tenten smiled. "We've been informed of that. If you do, you'll be escorting Karin and Sakura around for a month, won't you?"

Sasuke glared at Tenten. He'd kill Tsunade, then her, then Ino, and then Juugo. The loudmouth.

"Don't you two dare! I don't want to work in your stupid flower shop!"

"Oh, well then," Tenten smiled. "It's a definite. Sasuke'll be working at your place in no time, Ino!"

_Oh please, Tsunade, have the mercy to let me _not_ go through this!_ Sasuke thought desperately, as the girls walked out of the room he was in – leaving the bunnies there to hop around as they pleased. One of them was nibbling on his pants leg.

And then the truth dawned on him. "Hey! You left me in here!" he shouted, trying to catch their attention.

It didn't work. He was trapped.

----------

Sasuke brushed himself as he looked back at the old warehouse he'd been stuck inside of. Once he'd figured out how to disband the jutsu cast on him to stop his chakra flow, he'd ripped through the rope and thrown the stupid rabbit nibbling up his pants leg out the window.

It hadn't been hard to get free, he realized, since the jutsu wasn't a difficult one. All he'd had to do after breaking free was kick a few rabbits out of his way when he went outside, since there were two out side that were probably meant to 'guard' the place.

Embarrassing, really.

He rubbed his temples in an attempt to hold off a horrid headache. He walked as he did so, heading towards the Hokage's office as he did this. As much as he hated going to that place, he knew he'd have to clear things up with Tsunade.

He didn't want to have to work in a flower shop _as well_ as juggle his other tasks.

Working in the Academy.

Going to Therapy.

Dealing with brats.

Dealing with Anko's ravings.

He groaned at the mere therapy, and going to work in the flower shop would cause his mind to explode, considering the fact that he was having trouble keeping sane _now_. He crossed his arms as he walked up the stairs to the office and rammed his fist on the door.

"Who is it?"

"Let me in," Sasuke demanded impatiently.

"Fine, then, come in," Tsunade ordered, watching as Sasuke walked inside. Sasuke glanced around, realizing that Ino and Tenten weren't there.

_They must have already told her,_ he thought angrily.

"Why do you look so annoyed?" Tsunade asked tiredly. "Anko didn't take care of you?"

Sasuke made a mental note to remember to ask her what the heck she meant by that. "No, it's Ino and Tenten."

"What about them?" Tsunade asked boredly.

"What did they tell you?"

"That they got back from their mission successfully."

"What?"

"They were on a mission," Tsunade stated with aggravation. "They got back just a few minutes ago."

"So, they've been gone for . . . How long?"

"A week."

_But how? Then who was it that did that to me?_ Sasuke wondered, standing there as he tried to understand this all.

"Sasuke, what do you want? I'm tired, I want to go home, and it's ten o'clock at night. Hurry up."

Sasuke shook his head, realizing he probably looked like an idiot. "It's nothing," he muttered, before going out of the room and heading home. He tried to think of everyone who could have possibly done that to him – when two very suspicious names popped into his head.

_Tai and Iria._

----------

"Do you think it worked, Tsunade-sama?" Ino asked as she and Tenten came out of their hiding places behind the Hokage's desk. Tsunade nodded.

"I'm certain that he believes what I told him. I, as the Hokage, never lie."

"But didn't you just lie, Tsunade-sama?" Tenten asked, puzzled.

"No, I just came up with a creative answer that didn't necessarily reflect the truth," Tsunade replied as she leaned back in her chair.

"So, do you think that we're really making Sasuke think that everyone's against him?"

"Not everyone," Tsunade smiled. "But it's fun to watch him walk around the village with a look on his face that reads 'where are those kids hiding?'. He's definitely suspicious of those Academy Students – and that's what makes this so fun to watch."

"We're not just watching, are we Tsunade-sama?" Ino asked, as Tenten recovered from laughing at the mental image Tsunade had displayed about Sasuke wandering the streets with that expression.

"No, but we are _mostly_ watching. We're just . . . Giving him a push in the fun direction," Tsunade replied as she stood up from her desk. "Now you two go get those bunnies cleaned up and wash the paint off of them. You're dismissed," she announced, before leaving the room.

Ino smiled at Tenten, and the latter smiled back, before both burst out in laughter at what they had done to Sasuke. It had been hilarious to watch his horrified expression as he watched the videos.

Oh yes, watching Sasuke was most entertaining.

The two girls left the office with their laughter continuing as they went to go clean the bunnies, knowing that Sasuke would already be at home by now.

* * *

**_Well, there's chapter twelve! I hope you enjoyed it! I certainly enjoyed writing it. XD Anyway, please review!_**

**_Shebby_**


	13. Field Trip!

**Authoress's Note:** Hey guys, I'm really sorry about the delay on this chapter. And I'm sorry if the last chapters haven't met your standards. I've had company down for the past two weeks and I've been exhausted. Anyway, here's _Chapter Thirteen: Field Trip!_ I hope you enjoy this one, and I made it longer than the others too :)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or the characters that it portrays. I _do_ own this little twisted plot, the students, and the place for the field trip (can't give the secret away :D). Anyway, enjoy:)

* * *

The next few days went by with a few bad qualms, but nothing too dramatic for Sasuke's taste. Sai had finally been released from therapy on account of he wouldn't tell Anko what the heck he was in there for, and he'd gotten whacked so many times by her behavior stick that he'd been given a concussion. Anko had been forced to release him or else she'd be demoted from Jounin.

Sasuke would have preferred she got demoted and forced to stop the therapy more than he did watching Sai heal.

Naruto was released on the second day of the therapy, but was forced to return because, well, he wouldn't shut his mouth and Tsunade didn't like it.

Neji's case of paranoia over the bunnies was too severe for Anko's ravings, so he was sent to the higher level of mental therapy's exerciser: Shikaku Nara (who was currently not on any missions and had nothing better to do).

Jiraiya was released as an unsolvable case, and no further questions were asked.

No one really wanted to know the reason behind his behavior.

Izumo was released on good behavior, and because Kotetsu hadn't actually been there for a serious reason, he was able to go as well.

Shikamaru was just kicked out because Anko was tired of hearing him snore through her lectures.

And Sasuke himself was still there because of the blonde Hokage herself. Thankfully he'd already been there for a week and a half, and had merely four more days to go. He couldn't say he could complain a lot, considering he'd figured out how to get around the behavior stick.

All he had to do was blame everything on Naruto. Then he wouldn't get hurt, and he could laugh mentally as Naruto did.

With the Academy, things hadn't been too exciting. Sasuke would help build it until he had to go to therapy, and most of the time he was able to avoid the children, considering they had to work too.

Tai had been forced to stay away from the school because of his injuries, but Sasuke knew that he would be returning soon, and prayed that the kid would stay away for a while longer.

So, life hadn't been too bad for Sasuke for the past week and a half.

----------

Sasuke tossed the heavy board at the blaring alarm, sending it smashing through the window. It didn't shut off, though, to Sasuke's confusion.

Wait – window? Board?

Sasuke sat up in bed and stared at the window he'd just shattered. He blinked his sleep away and realized that the blaring alarm he'd heard was just the streets of Konohagakure getting ready for the day.

He also realized that he was still at the Academy.

_I must have fallen asleep after everyone left . . . I wonder why I wasn't woken up by someone,_ he thought as he stretched and stood up, picking up his pack and heading towards the dango shop for a cup of coffee or hot herbal tea. Whichever smelled better when he got there would be enough for him.

The day before he had been working at the Academy all day because Anko had been forced to go on a one-day mission and had cancelled the day's lecture. Sasuke didn't complain.

Working on re-building the Academy was _much_ better than sitting through two and a half to three hours of pure shouting from that woman.

He walked into the dango shop and walked over to the counter, ordering a cup of herbal tea. He sighed as he stared lazily at the bulletins stacked up on a tack board behind the counter.

_Any and all help required to rebuild the Academy._

Sasuke smirked as he read this one. Now he understood why some of the new people had shown up to help out with the Academy.

He read through a few more about help wanted in the shops around the village before his tea was brought to him. He thanked the man stoically before turning on his heel and heading towards his house.

It had been growing cold around the area recently, and had forced him to wear a long sleeved shirt thanks to it. Not that he _minded_ the cold. Cold kept kids away, and kids away from Sasuke meant he was a happy man.

He ended up completing his entire cup of tea before arriving at his house, so he made himself some coffee while he changed into some better clothing. He sighed as he realized he'd been following something close to the same routine for the past three days. He'd fall asleep somewhere different, and end up coming here to change.

What was the point of even owning a house?

He'd actually woken up one day to find a squirrel sleeping in his hair one morning. That had disturbed him, considering he didn't like squirrels, and it had buried its acorns in his shirt collar.

The next day he'd woken in a restaurant and had been forced to sweep the place for staying so long.

And this morning he'd woken in the Academy to find himself breaking a window while thinking it was an alarm clock. He sighed. Stress wasn't fun at all.

He headed back towards the Academy, a dull sway in his step.

----------

"Sasuke-san! I'm so glad you're here! I have a favor to ask of you," Iruka said as he saw the raven-haired boy coming up the road.

"What is it?" Sasuke asked as he stared at Iruka boredly. What did he want him to do? Iron wood or something?

"We're going to be putting the walls in, since the framing's all finished with. It's too dangerous for the children, so could you take them to the zoo for me?" Iruka asked, looking at Sasuke seriously.

"We have a zoo here?" Sasuke asked, not totally sure that he understood the concept of this favor.

"It's new, and just down the street from the village," Iruka explained.

"So, it's like a . . . Field trip."

"Yes, basically, except they can learn a few things from there," Iruka said matter-of-factly.

"They can learn _what_ exactly?"

"Well, they can learn how the different seals are contributed to by the animals and how they reflect them," Iruka explained. "I taught your class like that, except without actually having animals involved. So, take what you know, and put it together with the actual animals."

"Okay. Who's going to be coming?" Sasuke asked monotonously as he looked at Iruka. Sure, he could handle taking a few kids to the zoo. Maybe he could even leave some of the more animalistic kids there and pass them off as gorillas for money. That would be fine.

"Well, there's going to be Iria, Makoto, Naoko, and Ouya . . ." Iruka continued to list off students, and Sasuke didn't really pay much attention, at first. Sure, Iria and the other first two would be pains, but he could handle them.

"Katsuaki, Yumina, and finally, Tai," Iruka finished, smiling at Sasuke, who suddenly looked about three shades paler (if possible) than he already was. Iruka gave him a funny look.

"Are you okay, Sasuke-san?"

Sasuke felt nauseous. He nodded to Iruka anyway, and managed to speak straight. "When are we leaving?"

"You leave as soon as everyone's here," Iruka said, his smile returning. "Once everyone I named arrives."

Sasuke paled even worse, almost looking white.

There were three reasons for this. One, he was going to have to escort some brats around stinking animals. Two, he couldn't leave Tai behind. Three, there was absolutely _no_ way he was going to remember all of those names.

Iruka laughed, noting Sasuke's different expression. "Don't worry," he said, pulling out a sheet of paper from his pocket. "I made you a list of the names, and I drew you a map of where the zoo's at on the back."

"Thanks," Sasuke stated monotonously as he calmed down a little. This wasn't going to be so bad, right? He took the list from Iruka and waited for the group to arrive.

----------

Tai was the last person Sasuke was waiting on, and it was annoying the poor man quite badly. Through his boredom, he tried his best to stay awake, considering his last attempt at doing so didn't work so well and he'd woken up looking like a mutant.

Iria and Naoko were playing together while the boys talked as they all waited for the evil young boy.

And finally, he showed up, using a crutch to help him balance. He smiled at them all, which spelled disaster for Sasuke. The elder tried to ignore this as he addressed the students.

"We're going to be heading to the new zoo outside of the village," he announced. "There are rules involved, too."

"What are the rules, Sasuke-sensei?" Tai asked kindly, which spiked Sasuke's guard up sky-high.

"The rules are that you _have_ to stick close to me so that you don't get lost, you stay _away_ from the animals, and you don't argue," Sasuke stated firmly, crossing his arms. "Understand?"

Everyone nodded, though Tai seemed the brightest in his response. He caused Sasuke to mentally shudder, though he couldn't explain why. The kid just creeped him out.

"Well then, let's get going," Sasuke sighed as he turned on his heel and began walking on the all-too-familiar path out of the village.

It took them about fifteen minutes to get to the zoo, and nothing suspicious had happened yet. In a normal person's view, anyway. To Sasuke, they were planning something.

----------

"Sasuke-sensei's acting funny," Iria mumbled as she moseyed along beside Makoto. "He keeps looking around like someone's going to attack him or something."

"Maybe we made _that_ big of a dent on him. It's just boring now that Tai hasn't come up with any ideas for us to do to Sasuke recently," Makoto muttered. "I sure hope this promise he made us about what he's going to have us do to Sasuke will be worth the wait."

"I hope we don't have to wait until Tai's off of his crutches," Naoko sighed wistfully as she brushed a few strands of hair out of her eyes. "I mean, it's so boring having to let Sasuke go through the week without doing _anything_ to him. He's our main source of fun."

"Well, what do you want _us_ to do about it?" Iria snapped. "It's not like we can just leave Tai out of it. You know how good his plans are. And you can't forget that he's the one who gave us the chances to get to Sasuke-sensei in the first place."

"Yeah, yeah, we know, we know," Makoto sighed. "It's just the fact that Sasuke is so fun to prank. He's so . . . Babyish when he gets his looks messed up."

"Like you are when someone steals your hair curler?" Iria asked, referring to the fact that Makoto had short curly hair.

"Iria, I do _not_ have a curler!" Makoto snapped, glaring daggers at her.

"Sasuke-sensei doesn't even notice you two arguing," Naoko sighed, crossing her arms. "He's such a boring sensei. He's never any fun when he acts normal."

"Yeah," Makoto muttered, coming back to his normal personality. "I want to prank him, but I don't know what I want to do. So, guys, what's the best you can come up with?"

". . . Tripping him and watching him stumble down a steep cliff and laughing as he rams into a puddle of mud," Naoko said blandly. Makoto and Iria stared at her incredulously.

"You do know that that actually might kill him, right?" Iria asked, still trying to get over her friend's twisted sense of humor.

"Yeah, but it'd still be fun to watch."

"You're weird," Makoto grumbled, before turning to Iria. "So, what about you?"

"I wish we had a way that we could get a ton of birds to attack him. That would be cool," Iria giggled.

"But . . . We don't have a way to do that, so it's out of the question," Makoto sighed. "The best _I _can come up with is ultimate wedgies, but I don't think we can do that . . . Not even to him."

"Why not?" Naoko asked, an evil glint in her young eyes.

Makoto groaned. "Because it really _hurts_."

"Don't worry, guys, I'm back," Tai said as he limped over to them on his crutches. "And I've got a plan that's going to leave Sasuke trembling in his shoes."

"You do?" Iria asked, smiling cheerfully. "Finally! I missed the old Tai, and now you're back!" she said, hugging the boy happily. Tai nodded as they came into the zoo. "And it's going to happen right in this place . . ."

---------

Sasuke turned to all of the students that were currently following him. He had successfully ignored each and every one of them the entire way here. And the best part of this was the fact that none of them had left.

He wasn't in trouble for ignoring them because they couldn't prove it.

He sighed as he looked at the group. Everyone seemed to be rather well contented, so he didn't complain. "The basic reasoning behind coming here is for research on how the animals reflect on the hand seals that we use in the Ninjutsu and Genjutsu hand signs," he explained. "I'm only going to repeat the rules one more time."

The kids nodded, which Sasuke was surprised to see.

"One, you have to stick close to me so that you don't get lost or hurt."

"We can handle that, Sasuke-sensei, right everyone?" Tai asked, looking at the group.

"Yeah!" The kids said happily.

Sasuke noted that the kids had a positive response when Tai spoke. Maybe this kid was a good ally after all.

"Two, you will _not_ get near the animals," Sasuke added, watching as the kids nodded in agreement. "And you will _not _argue with me."

"Okay," the children said in unison.

"Er, right," Sasuke said, still a little baffled at the responses he was getting. "So, let's get going," he said, turning and walking away.

He didn't see the high-five that Tai and Makoto slapped each other, or the wicked glint that sparked in Naoko's eyes when he turned his back.

Plan 'caged Sasuke' was going nicely already at such an early stage.

This was going to be a piece of cake.

* * *

**_There's my latest chapter! This little crazy tale is coming to an end in either the next chapter or the one after, unfortunately. I really hope you've enjoyed it thus far. :D Anway, please review!_**

**_Shebby_**


	14. Partners?

**Authoress's Note:** -gets down on knees and presses hands together- Please forgive me for such a long wait!! I didn't intend on making everyone wait so long for this new chapter. I've had the WORST case of Writer's Block recently. I'm hoping that I finally got over it, and that this chapter was worth the wait -nods- I'd like to thank those that participated in my poll. :)

Anyway, here's _Chapter Fourteen: Partners?_ ! I hope you enjoy it!!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, nor the characters that it portrays. I DO own the plot, the zoo, Tai, Makoto, Iria, Naoko, and the students. Thank you. Enjoy!

--

Tai watched Sasuke with a bored expression plastered across his tanned face. The Uchiha was explaining—in an I-don't-want-to-be-here tone—how the ram in the cage next to him could be compared to the hand seals that they would, soon enough, be using in live combat to perform Ninjutsu and Genjutsu.

Tai wasn't paying very much attention to what Sasuke was saying, though. He'd heard this lecture already; only without the presence of live animals. Besides, he was too busy thinking about what he and his friends had planned for Sasuke to really care what the Uchiha was saying, anyway.

Sasuke was in the perfect position, too. He was keeping a steady eye on the ram (to avoid being startled and embarrassing himself, no doubt), while also using the hand seal as a demonstration.

Tai inched over sideways and jabbed Makoto in the shoulder with his index finger, catching the young boy's attention almost instantly.

"What is it, Tai?" he asked softly, staring at the boy in question.

"We can start now," Tai replied with a tone equally as soft while he turned on his heel and adjusted his crutches. "I'll tell Naoko, you go let Iria know."

"All right," Makoto said, a spark of determination lighting up in his eyes. He began to search for his target.

Tai already knew where Naoko was. She was located near the back of the group of Academy students. He limped over to her and stood beside her.

She was paying close attention to what Sasuke was saying, but Tai couldn't understand why this could be. She had been in the same class he had when Iruka had explained this to them. He gave her a soft nudge with his elbow.

This action caused the young girl's head to snap in his direction, her eyes wide and unfocused because of the action. Once she realized who he was, her expression hardened. "What _is_ it, Tai?" she hissed; obviously not wishing to be heard.

Tai stared at her for a moment before deciding that she would probably have to be reminded. "The plan's all ready," he stated, smirking. "All we have to do is alert everyone."

"Plan?" Naoko repeated, watching him cautiously. After a second or two, she nodded slowly. "Oh yeah, I remember now . . . I'm ready, then. Let's do it," she said, her usual sinister smile showing on her face, alerting Tai to the fact that she was, once again, back into her regular state of mind.

Was that a good thing?

He wasn't sure. But hey, if she got the plan working, he wouldn't complain.

"Get to work on getting a hold of the other students' attention. We start just as soon as Sasuke gives us an opening."

"You've got it," Naoko smiled, stretching. "Let the plan be put into motion."

"You've got it. Chicken-haired man is going down for the count, and there's nothing he's gonna be able to do to stop it," Tai smirked, before settling his crutches in a way that would help him walk easier. "Let's do it."

--

"-and that is how the ram represents the hand seal," Sasuke concluded; his throat feeling scratchy from all of the talking he'd been forced into doing. He cracked his knuckles, which were slowly getting sore because of the repeated hand seals he'd been forming. He turned on his heel, sighing slightly.

"Now come on. We've got one more to go look at, and that's the tiger," he stated seriously, beginning to walk in the direction of the pen that kept the animal he was seeking.

He was mentally pleased with himself. Apparently the children really had listened to him and calmed down, considering the fact that there was little to no noise following him as he continued walking.

This fact made him nearly smile until about half-way to the pen, in which he began to get a little uneasy. He sighed, stopping and turning around.

His heart nearly stopped in reply. They were all gone.

--

Tai smiled. Oh, yes, it had worked perfectly. They had refrained from speaking for a small amount of time while making noises so that Sasuke didn't suspect that they had gone. A few of the students would depart at a time so not to become suspicious, right up until Tai and Naoko were the last two. At that point, they both vanished; leaving Sasuke all alone without a single student trailing behind him.

Now, though, he was sitting atop the monkeys' pen, watching Sasuke carefully from his position while remaining hidden. He smirked to himself, looking around the area. He could spot his fellow students.

They were all looking at him.

Nodding, Tai stood up carefully with the help of Makoto and used chakra to get down from the cage. "Ready?" he asked Makoto curiously; the blue-haired boy nodding in response.

"Three . . ." he muttered, a grin forming on his face. "Two . . ."

A man turned the corner at the cage, paying no attention to the boys as he started walking down the path. Tai grinned.

"One! Get 'em!"'

--

Sasuke was doing his absolute best not to panic. That would have been a very terrible thing for the young Uchiha to have done, and he knew it.

Not like it was the _easiest_ thing to accomplish, though. Heck, if he hadn't of practiced a non-emotional façade for when he had fan-girls around, he probably would have been screaming in terror at the moment.

But Sasuke had more self control than that.

This was exactly why he wasn't going to run around and scream for the kids to come back.

Instead, he was going to take this _very_ seriously, and _very _calmly. He couldn't handle having his reputation smashed to the ground again because of the children.

Picking up his pride and pulling it back into sorts, he took a deep breath and looked around the area.

There wasn't really much to tell of the small location he was at. There was a few children he didn't know running around and looking at the many different assortments, a squirrel that was enjoying an acorn, and--

Sasuke froze with astonishment.

He knew the two that were standing about thirty feet in front of him, looking at the monkeys and conversing! All panic fled from him, and he felt quite a lot of relief. _Maybe they can help me out,_ he thought hopefully, refraining from running straight towards the two and shouting out their names. Instead, he began to walk towards them leisurely. He shoved his hands into his pockets, silently praying that he didn't look overly stressed.

_My lucks changing! Thank Kami!_ He thought with a slight sigh, coming closer towards the two. He was just about to get to them when a crying child and his mother walked by. One of the two—a female Sasuke recognized as the Kazekage's elder sister—looked over, her brows furrowing in concern until she saw Sasuke. Her teal eyes hardened slightly as she registered who he was.

Sasuke merely stopped himself from rolling his eyes as he walked around the mother and child, about to completely approach the two when Temari's eyes widened.

"Uchiha—look out!"

Her comment registered in Sasuke's mind just a moment too late. He stepped on something cold and slippery, and the next thing Sasuke knew, he was laying face-first upon the cold ground.

Sasuke groaned softly, lifting his head slightly. He could hear a lot of roaring laughter close-by, and he could feel his face heat up with embarrassment and anger.

At the moment, though, his embarrassment was the least of his worries. Standing up and brushing himself off, he took a deep breath and turned to face the Kazekage's sister, as well as Neji, who Sasuke had just _actually _recognized as the Hyuuga. Here he'd thought it was a girl.

He mentally groaned.

He had absolutely no doubt in his mind that the Hyuuga would be holding this against him for quite a long time after this.

"You don't pay much attention to your surroundings, do you?" Temari asked haughtily. Sasuke glared at her, while she merely continued, "it makes me wonder how you ever became a shinobi, Uchiha . . ."

"I was distracted," Sasuke stated sharply. "What are you doing _here_, anyway?"

"Hey, _I _could ask _you_ the same thing, Uchiha," Temari smirked. "But, I'm pretty sure that _you're_ here to visit your girlfriend."

No sooner than she had said it, she gestured to the cage beside her, which held the monkeys. Sasuke scowled once he realized what the blonde kunoichi was implying. He was just about to make a scathing remark when she started to speak again.

"As for why _I'm_ here; Gaara, as Kazekage, has recently become quite fond of children. As a result, he helped your Hokage to fund this zoo here. He asked me to come and see what it looks like."

Sasuke scoffed slightly. "Gaara fond of children? Not very likely," he stated, crossing his arms. He looked over to Neji, who was just listening to their conversation, looking at something over Sasuke's shoulder.

"What about you, Hyuuga? Why are _you_ here?"

Neji looked at him upon being spoken to and crossed his arms. "I am here because Shikaku has stated that I need to be out of the house and Village for a little while," he stated seriously. "And our Hokage was in need of someone to escort Temari around, so I was chosen."

"_You_?" Sasuke scoffed. "I suppose we should keep you away from the rabbit pens, then."

Neji glared at him. "And you away from the spiders and ice cream vendors."

Sasuke could understand the first part, but the second confused him. "Ice cream?"

Temari gave a bit of a laugh, before gesturing behind Sasuke. The Uchiha turned, and then immediately realized what the Hyuuga had meant by his comment. There was a dirty, melting ice cream upon the ground. In the middle of it was a skidded footprint, and Sasuke growled softly as he noted that the ice cream had been what he'd fallen on. He turned back to the two, who each had an amused look on their faces.

Sasuke bit back the urge to shout a few bad words at the two, and took a deep breath before looking at Temari. "Do you really want to know why I'm here?"

Temari looked at him curiously and nodded. "Yeah, sure. I'm bored and don't have anything better to do."

"Good," Sasuke said, trying to hide the obvious relief in his tone. This seemed to interest the two shinobi, and they stared at Sasuke curiously. Sasuke forced himself to ignore their looks and began to explain.

After he had finished, he half-patiently awaited some sort of response, looking over their expressions in hopes of a clue as to what was going through their minds. Temari looked just about ready to burst into laughter, whereas Neji looked a bit more contemplative over the situation. Unfortunately, Temari was the first to speak.

"So, what you're telling me is," she stated, obviously trying to refrain from laughing at him. "That you're Hokage _actually_ trusted you with a bunch of kids from the Academy? No offense, but I think your Hokage needs a brain exam!"

Sasuke glared at her. "I'm _more_ than capable of taking care of the children."

"Which is why you have absolutely no idea as to where each and every one of those children is at the moment, correct?" Neji asked sarcastically as he looked at Sasuke. "I do hope you realize how important it is that these children are found – don't you?"

"Of course," Sasuke stated – his tone a little more bitter than he had intended it to be. Sure, he didn't like the Hyuuga, but he couldn't risk being too cold, considering Neji might not wish to help at all if he did.

Neji didn't seem to care, though, and sighed. "You have requested our help," he stated calmly, looking straight at the Uchiha. "I will help."

Temari smirked. "You know what? I think I'll help too," she said with a slight nod. "After all, with this, I can rub it in Kankuro's face that _I_ got to mess with you, and not _him_."

Sasuke suppressed a growl, mentally cursing up a storm directed at the blonde kunoichi. He faked a calm façade, though, and merely nodded. "All right."

"So," Temari stated turning on her heel. "I'll go this way, and you two pathetic morons can go _that_ way."

Without saying another word, the kunoichi had begun walking off, looking around casually.

Neji shook his head, turning on his heel. "Why are all Sand Ninja so bossy?" he mumbled to himself, before casting a glance at the Uchiha who was still glaring at the back of Temari's head like she'd just killed his pet puppy. "Are you coming, Uchiha?"

"Yeah," Sasuke stated, turning on his heel after casting one last glare at the girl. He began to walk with the Hyuuga. "This had better be worth doing . . ."

"It is," Neji stated calmly. "It's for the children, is it not?"

". . . Right," Sasuke lied. "For the children."

--

"That's not fair!" Naoko growled, watching as Sasuke conversed with the Sand Kunoichi and the Hyuuga. "He had to mess everything up!"

Makoto sighed. "There's no _way_ we're going to be able to pull this off now," he muttered. "Honestly, there's not a chance . . ."

"Don't say that!" Iria insisted, casting a glance over at Tai, who was watching the blonde girl as she walked away from the group. Iria turned back to her friends. "Tai's not panicking, so neither should we."

At the mention of his name, Tai turned around, looking at his three bickering friends. "What's going on?"

"What do you _think_ is going on, Tai?" Naoko asked firmly. "It's Sasuke-sensei! He's gone and gotten help!"

"There's no way we'll be able to get to him if he has two others helping him," Makoto added complainingly.

"Is that all?" Tai asked, standing up from his lenient pose against the ostrich cage.

Naoko glared at him. "What do you mean 'is that all'?" she asked sharply.

Tai sighed a little, realizing that, unfortunately, Naoko was back to her moody state of mind. "What I mean," he stated calmly. "Is that things aren't nearly as bad as you all are making them out to be."

Makoto gave Tai a weary stare. "If you're not worried about these two people, would you mind telling us why? We've worked so _hard_ to get this set up!"

Tai smiled at his friend. "I'm not worried because I pay attention to the little things."

"Oh, _yeah_ Tai, way to welcome us into your world," Naoko stated sarcastically. "Just _what_ do you mean?"

"I mean," Tai replied. "That I was watching how everyone acted. If you would have done the same, you would have noticed that the blonde Sand Ninja didn't seem to like Sasuke."

"Tai, what does her not liking him have to do with anything?" Iria asked tentatively. Tai turned his focus to her.

"It's simple," Tai said, settling on his crutches. "I believe that, with the correct words, we can convince her to join our side. She could be a lot of help."

"You can't be serious," Naoko seethed, watching as the Sand kunoichi walked their way. "That's _way_ too risky."

But Tai didn't answer her statement.

He was already heading towards Temari.

--

"Why aren't you using your Byakugan, Hyuuga?" Sasuke asked sharply, looking at Neji. The latter man looked back at him.

"Because chakra is prohibited in this place," he replied calmly. "_That_ is why."

"Whatever," Sasuke muttered, turning back to search for the Academy students—or brats, as he liked to put it.

"Do you have any idea where they could be at, Uchiha?" Neji asked curiously. Sasuke cast Neji a bitter look.

"If I did, I wouldn't have asked you for help, now would I?"

Neji returned the look before shaking his head and turning away again. "Do me a favor, Uchiha."

"What's that, _Hyuuga_?"

"Remind me to _never_ let you baby-sit my children."

Sasuke scoffed slightly, rounding a corner towards the animals in smaller cages. "I wouldn't, even if you _did_ ask me to."

Neji smirked a little. "Of course not. Besides, it's painfully obvious that you'll never have children of your own, so why should you take care of someone else's?"

Sasuke cast him a scathing glare. "For the _last_ time: I'm not ga—"

"I _meant_ with the way you act towards children."

". . . Of _course_ you did," Sasuke muttered sarcastically. "Let's just go find the brats."

"Children."

"Brats, children . . . Whatever."

--

Tai ignored the urgent whispers of his friends as they tried to get him to come back to them. Instead, he put on a fake smile and limped towards the Sand Ninja.

When he got to her, the woman's head was turned away, giving him a good opportunity to be, well, cute. "E-excuse me?"

The blonde's head snapped in his direction, looking at him in surprise. It was evident that she hadn't expected him to be there. "What is it?"

"Well," Tai said thoughtfully, trying to choose his words carefully. "I saw you over there talking to Sasuke-sensei."

Temari sighed slightly. "Yeah, _an_—wait, you just called him '_sensei_'. Are you one of those kids that he's looking for?"

Tai nodded. "Yes Ma'am."

Temari smirked. "Good, I found one of you . . . Now, would you mind telling me why you left him in the first place?"

_That's why I came, _Tai thought, shaking his head. "No Ma'am. I'll tell you, but could we please sit down?" he asked, gesturing towards a bench that was positioned a small ways away from the two of them. Temari stared at him for a moment in confusion before she finally seemed to realize that he was on crutches.

"Yeah, sure."

Tai nodded appreciatively before going over and taking a seat on the bench. He really had needed the rest. Temari took a seat on the bench as well and looked over at him expectantly. "Well?"

Tai gave a soft sigh. "Well, the thing is, Sasuke-sensei has been taking care of us—meaning me and the other students—for a while now, and we've gotten _really_ used to having him around . . . Unfortunately, he'll be leaving soon, and when he does, everything's going to go back to normal."

Temari looked at him, her expression little more than unsatisfied with his answer. "What has that got to do with running away? If you're so worried about him leaving, why run away from him?"

Tai smiled at her kindly. "Well, it's because we still haven't had enough . . . _Fun_ with Sasuke-sensei."

This statement seemed to pique Temari's interest, as her expression turned to a more curious one. "Fun?"

"Yeah," Tai replied. "Fun."

Temari leaned back in her chair, looking at the sky. "Who would have believed that the Uchiha was capable of giving kids menial entertainment?"

Tai laughed. "No, actually, it wasn't little fun . . . And half the time he fell _into _the fun."

Temari stared at the kid once more. "Explain what you mean by _that_."

Tai smiled innocently, and then proceeded to tell Temari everything that he and his friends had done to Sasuke since the first day the Uchiha had entered the doors to their Academy classroom.

--

"I still believe that we stand a better chance if we get _away_ from this section of the zoo, Sasuke."

Sasuke ignored the Hyuuga's fourth attempt at convincing him to get away from the small animals' cages. Instead, he continued looking around purposefully.

Neji, on the other hand, was doing his best to keep an eye on Sasuke _and_ keep an eye on the cage that was across from him: The rabbit's cage. He just couldn't get the thought that they were planning to come out and attack, or dance, him to death out of his head. His eyes were playing tricks on him and making the rabbits' colors change, as well. It sent shivers up and down the poor man's spine.

Sasuke wasn't nearly as paranoid of the rabbits as Neji; mainly because _he'd_ managed to escape from that wretched prison (and kick the rabbits). _He_ could handle the rabbits.

"Perhaps we should try the insect area? Kids enjoy gross things, right? Not fluffy ones . . ."

Sasuke turned to glare at the Hyuuga. He was almost _sure_ that that had been a crack-joke at the fact that he was scared of spiders. "No," he stated. "I don't think they'd be there."

Neji suppressed a growl. The Uchiha was being too stubborn about not leaving these cages. Couldn't he see that Neji wanted to get away from these things?

Or perhaps that's why he didn't want to leave . . . That was a possibility.

Neji leaned against the wall, doing his best to avoid looking at the bunnies. They couldn't take over him if he wasn't paying attention to them, right?

He looked up at the roof that was covering this certain part of the zoo (considering the small animals would probably get over-heated if out in the sun for too long in their cages) and gave a soundless sigh, wondering how Temari was currently doing in the hunt for the children. Hopefully _she _wasn't having too much trouble locating them.

Considering it looked like he and Sasuke were going to be _here_ for a _very_ long time.

--

Temari was having a difficult time trying not to cry.

"So, what _you're_ telling me, is that you've managed to insult him, dye him different colors—"

"Paint, Ma'am. Not dye."

"—Whatever. Anyway, you and these kids actually did all of this to Sasuke?" Temari asked, biting her lower lip in order not to burst out in laughter, which, in turn, would probably end up in tears of joy. Kankuro would get a kick out of this when she got home!

"Yes Ma'am, we did," Tai smiled. "And we wish to do at least one more thing with Sasuke-sensei, but if we get found out, then there will be no way we'll be able to do it."

Temari looked at him curiously, as if debating what to do behind her steely blue eyes. Finally, she smirked and nodded. "So, you want my help to stop you from getting caught, hmm?"

"Yes, please."

"Very well," Temari stated, her smirk widening. "You've got yourself a partner. Besides, I've always wanted to see what the Uchiha would look like after being embarrassed, anyway."

Tai grinned. "Well, you don't have to wait any more," he said happily. "Because we've got just about everything set up."

Temari nodded. "Good. Now, tell me something . . . Tai, wasn't it?"

"Mhmm."

"Right. What exactly _is_ this little plan of yours, Tai?"

"_Well_ . . ."

--

"I don't believe it," Naoko mumbled, watching as Tai and Temari conversed on the bench. "Tai was right."

"Of course he was right," Makoto stated, crossing his arms as he leaned against the Ostrich cage. "After all, he usually is . . . Except when it comes to class work, that is."

"Yeah," Iria agreed, smiling slightly. "He actually convinced the pretty kunoichi to join in with us!"

"Yep," Naoko stated. "I guess I should have believed him after all . . . It's just hard waiting . . ."

"Hey, just think!" Makoto stated thoughtfully. "If Sasuke-sensei's got that Hyuuga guy with him, maybe we can get him into the plan too!"

"On Sasuke's side, I hope," Naoko stated. "I don't want any more allies. It's funner to get the enemies."

"Yeah, you've got a point, there," Makoto nodded. Iria smiled, before suddenly standing straight. "Hey, they're coming this way!"

"Who? Sasuke?"

"No, Makoto! Tai and the kunoichi."

"Really?" Naoko asked, turning her attention away from Makoto and back to the two who were indeed heading their way. She grinned. "Looks like we'll be starting now, after all!"

Iria nodded, waiting until Tai was close enough before waving. "Hi!"

"Hi," Tai smiled, stopping in his steps and leaning on his crutches. "Temari-san's going to be helping us."

"Great," Naoko stated, looking the blonde kunoichi over curiously. "So, can we start, yet?"

"Yes," Temari said, looking at the three kids. "You all go and tell the others that we'll be starting the plan in ten minutes from now. The time, of course, will alter with each person you see, so make sure you tell them the right time, okay? I do believe they know what to do, right?"

"Yes Ma'am," Tai replied. "We've gone over the plan with each other."

"Good," Temari stated, turning back to the others. "Then go, and come back once you've alerted the groups."

"Right!" The three said in unison, before dashing off in separate directions to contact their friends. Tai looked at Temari. "You're really going to help?"

"I wouldn't have sent them off if I wasn't going to," Temari stated, looking at the Ostriches. She smirked. "Looks like we're going to put your plan into action after all. I just hope you don't mind a second target."

"What do you mean?" Tai asked curiously.

"I mean that man who Sasuke was with," Temari stated. "He won't help, and his name's Neji. So, he'll be targeted too."

"Hyuuga Neji?" Tai asked, looking at her seriously. "The one who's frightened of bunnies?"

Temari stared at him, looking as if she was about to burst into laughter. "H-he's afraid of _bunnies_?" she asked, her tone incredulous. "Are you _serious_?"

"Yes, I am," Tai said honestly. "It's been said all over the village. Just like Sasuke-sensei's afraid of spiders."

"Oh, this is _great_," Temari smirked. "This'll make this all the more fun."

Tai nodded. "Yes Ma'am. And I don't mind a second target. It will be a new challenge."

"I like you kid. You're smart," Temari stated, laughing a little. "Now we'll just wait for your friends and then we'll get Sasuke."

"Okay."

--

Sasuke smirked slightly as he finally decided to end Neji's suffering. He figured he probably should have stopped when the Hyuuga had started glancing back and forth between him and the rabbit's cage, but he'd let it keep on until, like now, Neji had been staring at the rabbit's cage unblinking.

So, Sasuke dragged Neji away from the rabbit's cage and was walking towards the West side of the zoo. Perhaps some better luck would come to them there.

Neji remained silent as they walked, though Sasuke could easily feel the Hyuuga's eyes searing holes into the back of his head when he turned to look away, but when he'd glance at Neji, the man's head would be turned. So, Sasuke just ignored him and walked.

This silence remained until Sasuke heard a rumbling sound. It surprised him, and he turned to glare at the Hyuuga. "Contain the noises in your stomach."

Neji challenged the glare with one of his own. "It wasn't my stomach, _Uchiha_. Perhaps it was _yours_."

Sasuke scoffed. "No, I know when my stomach does such things, _Hyuuga_."

"Apparently _not_."

"So, then, if it wasn't your stomach or mine, then what _was_ it?" Sasuke asked, crossing his arms defiantly. Neji looked about ready to comment, but a loud shout caught both of their attention.

"_RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!"_

_--_

__

**There you go!! I certainly hope that this was worth the wait. I believe this story will end in the next chapter, unforutnately. Once again, I apologize for the long wait, and for those who waited, thank you so much!! **

**Please Review!!**

**Shebby**


	15. Grand Finale

**Authoress's Note:** Guess what? This chapter didn't take as long to update as the last one! XD Albeit it probably would have taken as long had it not of been for SasukesGirl567. Thank you, my friend. :) Anyway, this is the last installment of Sasuke's Second Childhood. I hope you've enjoyed this unusual little story just as much as I've enjoyed writing it! :D I'd like to thank SasukesGirl567 for pushing me to complete this, my sister for . . . Umm . . . Being sister-y? My friend Emily, and my friend Tsukinoyo for all of the support and happiness! XD This has been a serious blast writing, and I truly appreciate all of the reviews I've recieved. Let's see if we can hit 50, shall we? That'd be great!

_Anyway, here's the fifteenth and final chapter of Sasuke's Second Childhood! _

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, and I never will. I merely own the plot to this story and the students. Please enjoy!

* * *

Sasuke and Neji both turned simultaneously to see what on earth it was that had caused the person to shout so loudly. They both stood still, watching cautiously behind them, as if expecting a giant, man eating porcupine to come out of the shadows. But, no, instead the rumbling just got louder. Neji cast Sasuke a glare. "I _told_ you that it was not my stomach."

"Whatever. I don--"

Sasuke was immediately cut off when something rather large came bustling around a corner, charging at full speeds at both Neji and Sasuke -- much to both men's horror. "What is _that_?!" Neji asked; his eyes wide in alarm. Sasuke turned on his heel. "It's a rhino! Get out of its way!!"

Neji wasted no time in following instructions, turning to follow the Uchiha -- all earlier problems with the man forgotten as he did his best to avoid getting run over by the rhinoceros. Unfortunately, as they knew, chakra was prohibited, which meant that they would have to resort to the 'primitive' methods of getting away from this . . . Creature.

Basically, that translated to plan 'Run for Your Life or Else You Die'.

Sasuke was doing a little better stamina-wise than Neji, though, considering his adrenaline rushes had been coming along more frantically than a normal human being's would have. Unfortunately, it had come with a rather annoying price, but at the moment, he couldn't have cared less.

His heart raced as he attempted to find the closest thing he could jump on, climb, or scramble up. He didn't care how close Neji was to him, either. He just wanted to get out of the way of this horrific beast!

The Uchiha nearly had a heart attack once something grabbed his arm and pulled him off to the left – sighing in relief only once he realized that it was only Temari who had done so. Neji was panting frantically next to him as the rhino raged on by them, obviously in a rather PO'd mood.

Sasuke looked at Temari. "The kids . . . Have you found any of them?"

"No," Temari lied, crossing her arms. "I just barely had enough time to grab you two out of the way! What's going on?"

"The rhino apparently got out," Sasuke stated sharply.

"We need to find the children," Neji stated seriously. "We have to."

"Of course," Temari sighed. "Look, I'll follow the rhino. You two go that way and try to round up as many of the kids as you can, got it?"

Sasuke begrudgingly nodded to the kunoichi's orders. "Fine," he muttered. He turned to Neji, who merely nodded to the suggestion. "Very well."

Temari gave a simple nod, before vanishing in a cloud of smoke. The two were silent for a moment, before Neji turned to the Uchiha. "You do realize that it is important for us to do this, don't you?"

Sasuke glared at the man. "Of _course_ I do. Do you honestly believe that I want to keep on having to take care of these brats?" he asked sharply, before turning on his heel. "Let's get them. They're going to be in _so_ much trouble when I get to them."

Neji sighed. "I will not permit you to lay a hand of harm on them, Uchiha."

Sasuke smirked, glancing at the Hyuuga from over his shoulder. "Who said anything about _hurting_ them?"

--

Temari smirked to herself as she watched the Hyuuga and Uchiha from her position. She was settled atop one of the cages a good distance away, on her fan so as to avoid the heat-stricken metal of the top of the cage. She shook her head in amusement as Sasuke said that 'the children were going to be in a lot of trouble'. "Of course they will, Uchiha," she smirked. "But, not nearly as much trouble as _you_."

"Temari-san," a voice from below called up. "Is everything going well? Can we complete the rest of our plan?"

"Everything's going fine," Temari smirked. "Better than we'd expected. Go on ahead and follow through with what you all had set up. I'll keep an eye on the two so they don't leave this place."

"Yes Ma'am," Iria said, before spinning around on her heel to go alert Tai that the plan was going so well.

--

After a good ten or fifteen minutes had passed of unnecessary searching, Sasuke was growing very impatient with the Hyuuga he was working with. "I'm glad I'm not on the same team as _you_," he hissed under his breath, tossing a glare at the back of the man's head. Neji turned around to face him again, his arms crossed tightly over his chest and his eyes narrowed furiously.

"The next time you wish to speak, _Uchiha_," he seethed, glaring fiercely at the man. "I suggest you do not do it behind the back of a Hyuuga. We can clearly see you when you do it."

"Oh, really? Too bad," Sasuke snapped back. "The day I'll be scared of you and your petty, sugar-coated threats will be the day I take my leave of this pathetic world!"

"Hopefully that will not be too far away," Neji growled out, the obvious stress of their situation beginning to take a serious toll on the two pride-driven Clan members.

Sasuke clenched his fists, stepping forward. "Say that to my face, pretty boy," he snapped angrily.

Neji looked just about ready to retaliate to the man's threat, but before he could get the words in his mind out, his eyes widened in horror as he stared at Sasuke.

Sasuke smirked, unclenching his fists to cross his arms. "Scared already? Well, that was pretty pathetic," he scoffed, before seeing Neji shake his head. The Uchiha gave him a confused look. "What?"

Neji lifted his left hand and pointed his index finger in the direction Sasuke was facing the opposite of. Sasuke glared at him. "If this is a trick, I'll kill you," he spat, before looking over his shoulder and freezing dead on the spot.

This was not a good situation. Not at all.

More animals than Neji and Sasuke _combined_ could count were racing towards them at top speed, all looking very eager to get out, and not at all worried about running the two ahead of them over. Sasuke spotted Ostriches, Zebras, Giraffes, more Rhinos, and plenty more animals coming forward, as clouds of dust and dirt sprang up behind them because of all the hooves, claws, and feathers hitting the ground.

"Uchiha, I do suggest that we get out of the way," Neji said after finally ridding himself of the shock and backing up. "We need to. _Immediately_."

Sasuke nodding, though he couldn't bring himself to look away from the scene. Still, he somehow managed to bring his feet to move a little, and soon after, he and Neji were racing ahead of the group of animals, praying that they could find somewhere to lose them at.

"What happened?! This is a brand new place, the cages couldn't have broken!" Neji shouted over the noise of the stampeding creatures behind them both. Sasuke looked over at the man with confusion.

"How the heck am _I_ supposed to know the answer to _that_!?" he screeched, before turning back to look around frantically. "Why did we need to be searching for those brats in a place in an alley-way!? There's no where to turn at!"

Neji shook his head, beginning to pant. "I don't know," he hissed. "But I _do_ know that we had better find a way to get out of these monsters' path before they crush us. We can't run much further."

Sasuke nodded to Neji, though kept his focus ahead. "Yeah, I know," he huffed out. "We'll just have to go until we find a break-off point . . . There's got to be one here . . ."

Both ran in silence for a few moments after that, attempting to salvage some air so that they could run longer.

Sasuke huffed tiredly as he glanced over his shoulder, trying to see if the nightmare was still behind them.

Unfortunately, and to his horror, they were. And it looked like the animals were doing much better than they were on stamina. _Oh great . . . This is not good . . . Not good at all . . . _he thought bitterly, biting his lower lip.

"Uchiha!" Neji said from in front of him, rather loudly. Sasuke turned back to face him, but instead of seeing the man, he came face-to-face with a rather large and painful brick wall. Neji smirked.

"Dead end."

"Thanks," Sasuke growled, rubbing his head. Horror struck him yet again as the sounds of the stampeding crowd of gathered animals got closer. He nearly panicked. There was no way they were going to survive this!

"Quick, grab this!" said a voice from above the two. Sasuke sighed. _Sounds like I'm hearing things all ready . . . I must be close to dying, then . . . I might as well just accept it . . ._

"Sasuke, what are you doing? _Grab_ this!" Neji snapped, gripping the back of Sasuke's collar and pulling him back quickly, as a thick rope hung in front of the man's face. Without even thinking, Sasuke grabbed a hold of it, hoisting himself up as quickly as possible to the top of the brick wall. Neji shot up after him, and the animals came to a halt about three inches away from the wall itself. Sasuke and Neji huffed heavily, both thankful to be alive and well.

--

"We appreciate you helping Sasuke and myself," Neji stated with a respectful bow to the man who had saved them. Sasuke gave a bitter bow as well, deciding that being disrespectful at the moment would probably have him tossed into the crowd of animals gathered below.

The man sighed. "It's no problem," he said seriously. "Letting to people get killed by the animals in this zee would be bad. I've already had more than one bad thing happen today, other than the animals escaping. I was mauled by a few kids, bound, and my keys are gone now," he sighed.

Sasuke's and Neji's eyes widened simultaneously. "Kids?" Sasuke asked, standing up straight immediately. "What did they look like?!"

The man looked at Sasuke suspiciously, but paused to think soon after. "Well . . . One of them had blue-ish hair, while another was on crutches . . . And there were a few young girls, too. Why?"

Sasuke growled. "Tai . . . That little brat is back at it," he muttered. Neji looked over at him. "Why is it that you are always bringing up one specific name, Uchiha? Did you never stop to think that, perhaps, this was a different child?"

"No," Sasuke snapped. "Because you don't know these brats like I do. They're evil."

Neji smirked, obviously trying to hide the urge to laugh. "Uchiha," he stated, speaking deliberately slow. "You _are_ aware, of course, that these are merely Academy students, are you not?"

"Of course I am," Sasuke seethed. "Do you think I'm stupid? I _hate_ these kids!"

"I don't care if you _love_ them," The man Neji and Sasuke had been talking to earlier growled. "I want them out of my zoo, and I want the animals _back_ in their cages! Since these kids are _your_ responsibility, then it's now your responsibility to get the animals where they belong! Otherwise I'll get a hold of your Hokage and tell her what happened!"

Sasuke gave the man a horrified look. He hesitated, before muttering a reluctant, "_fine_."

Neji nodded. "Very well. We will do as you asked, and gather the children and animals," he stated, before turning. "Come on, Uchiha. We don't wish to wait around all afternoon."

Sasuke growled, though said nothing as he and Neji jumped down on the side of the wall that the animals had previously been on. They had long since scattered.

"This will be difficult," Neji stated after a moment or two of silence. "You try and locate the children. With my Byakugan, I should have an easier time finding the animals," he added seriously. Sasuke nodded. "Whatever," he muttered, before spinning on his heel. "I'll go this way."

"And I, the opposite," Neji replied, before both dashed off in their direction.

--

"Finally, they've split up," Tai muttered, looking over at Naoko. "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be," Naoko said with an excited smile. "Let's get Sasuke-sensei!"

"You've got it," Tai grinned. "We'll get him so good; he'll have nightmares for a month!"

"Ready!" Makoto huffed, running up to the two. "Iria's in place! Tai, you next, and then we can do it!"

Tai nodded. "Got it. Let's go."

--

Sasuke sighed as he came to a halt at yet another dead end. "This is getting ridiculous," he muttered to himself, looking around to see if he could spot a kid. "I've located three kids in all, and I've sent them to that one guy to keep them . . . And I still can't find anyone else . . . Not to mention that Neji and I split up . . . I would have rather chase down those stupid animals," he scowled, beginning to walk back the way he had come. "Neji could handle these brats better, I'm sure."

He walked along silently for a good fifteen minutes or so, growling in frustration as he hit another dead end. "That's it! I don't care about the stupid chakra ban! I'm going to—"

"Sasuke-sensei! Sasuke-sensei! You have to come quick!" shrieked a female voice from behind him. Sasuke looked over his shoulder, his eyes widening as he spotted Iria and Makoto. He mentally smirked. If these two were here, then he would definitely be able to be led to where Tai was. "What?" he asked, crossing his arms as he walked over to the pair.

"I-it's Tai!" Makoto replied breathlessly, before Iria cut in. "He's stuck! You have to come help him!" she said with a pleading tone. "_Please_, Sasuke-sensei!"

"Don't run away this time," Sasuke ordered, before motioning for the two to lead him to where they needed to go.

Completely ignoring Sasuke, Iria and Makoto took off running to the left, while Sasuke muttered a few curses under his breath before dashing after them a little reluctantly.

_This had better be worth running for,_ Sasuke growled mentally. _Or there are going to be two less brats running around Konohagakure . . ._

It didn't take long for Iria and Makoto to stop running, though, much to the Uchiha's relief. Sasuke skidded to a halt behind them, giving a huff before turning to see what they were looking at.

He turned a ghostly pale.

He was going to _die_.

"Hi, Sasuke-sensei!" Tai grinned, waving over at his 'sensei' while steadying himself carefully on his crutches. The young boy had a ring full of keys in the hand that he was waving at Sasuke, and he was standing in front of a huge cage. What lurked inside wasn't in sight, but there were a ton of logs and half-grown trees inside that alerted Sasuke to the fact that whatever the boy was standing in front of, it was _huge_.

Sasuke glared at him. "Get away from there! You're already in a lot of trouble!" he snapped ferociously.

Tai's grin merely widened to the man's threat. "But wait, Sasuke-sensei! I want to introduce you to my friend!" he shouted, lowering his hand and placing the key in the lock. He glanced over at Sasuke. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Of _course_ I mind!" Sasuke shouted back. "Now get over here!"

Tai merely turned back to the cage and turned the key, kicking open the door and standing in front of the now-open cage. "But don't you want to meet my friend?"

"_No_!" Sasuke growled, walking forward. "Now close that gate immediately!"

"But I do—"

Sasuke was reaching his limit. "Listen here, _kid_. _I'm _in charge, not _you_! Get that through your head! I'm tired of all of these stupid pranks, and whatever you've got planned now _isn't_ going to work! Now come here! We're going back to Konoha!"

"Tai! Look out!" Iria screamed from behind Sasuke, and the latter's head turned to see a full-grown tiger running forward at high speed, with Tai directly in its path. Sasuke's eyes widened. With Tai in his condition, there was no way that the boy would be able to get out of the way in time. Without bothering to think twice, Sasuke dashed towards Tai and gave him a rough shove out of the way, hitting the ground himself and covering his head to avoid facial damage if the tiger attacked.

It never came. As far as Sasuke knew, the tiger hadn't even come close.

Before Sasuke could get to his feet and see what was going on, the sound of a heavy metal bar being shifted, and he looked up just in time to see Iria and Makoto finish closing the gate to the cage Tai had opened. Sasuke climbed to his feet and made an attempt at opening the gate, but by then, Tai had already locked the door, his crutches firmly underneath him. He grinned.

"Plan 'Caged Sasuke' complete."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed in frustration, anger, and downright humility. Once again, these brats had managed to trick him into one of their pranks. He scowled. "Let me out _now_, you little brats!"

He was cracking mentally, and the kids seemed to rejoice at this particular notion. They'd finally made _the_ 'great' Uchiha Sasuke snap, and they weren't even Genin yet! Tai smiled. "Well, it's not exactly up to us alone," he said. "We have to ask our help, too."

"Help?" Sasuke repeated, walking up to the bars. "And tell me," he seethed with a venomous tone. "_Who_ was it, exactly, who helped you all?"

"That, Uchiha, would be _me_," A female voice said from above Sasuke, and before he could look up, Temari jumped down from atop his cage. "_I_ was the one who helped these children."

Sasuke glared at her, and within two seconds of her last word, he had flung his arm through the bars of the cage as far as he could reach, and was fervently trying to get a hold of the Sand kunoichi. "Why?! Why did you help them!?" he screeched furiously, trying to reach her.

Temari merely remained at a palm's length of Sasuke's hand and crossed her arms. She smirked. "Because they were much more entertaining to help than _you_, Uchiha. And I wanted something to write home about. After all, who wouldn't want the opportunity to outsmart you? Though, I must admit, I thought you'd be a much bigger challenge."

"Shut it," Sasuke growled. "Just shut it! You haven't had to go through anything compared to me!"

Temari laughed humorlessly. "Oh really? Trust me, Uchiha; just being in your presence is torture."

Sasuke glared at her, but before he could start another sentence, Temari butt in again. "Come on, kids. Let's go find your friends so I can escort you all home, okay? Don't you think that'll be fun?" she asked in a sickly-sweet tone. Makoto grinned. "Okay!"

Sasuke watched with horrified realization as the kids walked away with Temari, each with their back to him until they were just about out of sight. Temari turned for a moment before tossing Sasuke a mocking wave, and then turned back around before walking back in the direction she had been going. She and the kids vanished out of sight seconds later.

Sasuke growled, returning his arm back in through the bars. "Stupid brats," he muttered to himself, crossing his arms. He sighed, watching the area surrounding the cage, waiting for someone to come. Unfortunately, the zoo had already closed, so he had a twenty-eighty percent chance of someone coming to find him. His _only_ chance was if a staff person would come.

_I guess I'll just have to wait,_ he thought with a sigh, leaning against the bars. No sooner than five minutes had passed before Sasuke heard footsteps heading his way. He shot up straight again, hopeful at the fact that he would be freed.

Until he saw who it was. The manager who had spoken to Neji and himself earlier had walked up. Sasuke mentally sighed, though tried not to show that he was angry or anything. The man stopped in front of the cage, looking Sasuke over like he had grown a second head. "What are you doing in there?"

"I got trapped," Sasuke stated, trying to hide the bitterness in his tone. "Can you get me out?"

The man hesitated, before crossing his arms. "Well, I saw a blonde girl walking out of the zoo with those kids you were _supposed_ to be gathering with that other boy. Unfortunately, you didn't get them . . . Perhaps this will serve as a good lesson. You'll be spending the night in there. I'll come get you in the morning."

"What?!" Sasuke asked furiously, glaring at the man. "You've got to be kidding me," he seethed. "You can't _do_ that."

"Yes, I can," the man stated, beginning to walk away. "And I am. Have a good evening, sir," he stated, before casting him a glance over his shoulder. "If you have a complaint, place it after you leave."

And with that, the man walked until he was out of sight, and out of shot-range for Sasuke's fireball jutsu. He was lucky, too, because Sasuke would have definitely used it.

He bashed his head against the bars for a few moments to regain his thoughts, and finally drew back and turned around to go on ahead and see if he could find out what he was trapped in the cage with.

Still, all he could see were a ton of huge logs.

Or so he thought, anyway.

His mind was quickly changed as one of the logs began to shift, and soon the rest of them began to follow. Sasuke eyed the movement with suspicion, his eyes narrowing as he tried to track it.

Finally, whatever was moving came to a halt in the shadows, and after a moment or two, came out. Sasuke's eye twitched at the sight of a gigantic snake that looked like it had been caught from the Forest of Death. Oh, the horrible memories.

Unfortunately, it didn't look like Sasuke's nightmare was going to end just yet, for the snake laid it's head down on the floor of the cage, and a thick crackling sound could be heard from somewhere near it. Sasuke didn't start to panic until he saw the scales on top of its head begin to crack, and he backed up a little.

Almost ten seconds later, Sasuke's eyes were met with cold slit ones.

"_Saaaasssukeee-kuuunnn . . ."_

At this, Uchiha Sasuke finally reached the end of his rope and cracked, letting out a horrified scream.

--

_Two Days Later._

--

"Tsunade-sama, someone's here to see you," Shizune stated from behind the door to Tsunade's large office. Tsunade grunted a 'let them in', before sitting up straight and wiping the slight drool off of her cheek. She straightened herself out before waiting for the person to enter.

She hadn't been expecting for her visitor to be Umino Iruka. She cast him a confused look. "What is it?"

Iruka gave Tsunade a respectful bow. "It's about Uchiha Sasuke," he replied calmly. "I need to speak with you about him."

Tsunade sobered up a little more at this, looking mildly interested now. "Oh really? And what is it about Uchiha Sasuke that you need to talk about?"

"His probation, milady," Iruka said seriously. "He's been working for me as my assistant for fifty-three days, and his probation is nearly over. An accident occurred two days ago, and he was unable to continue for these past two days, for he was placed under the hospital's care."

"Yeah, I heard something about Orochimaru getting his hands on Sasuke,' Tsunade stated with a little bit of bitterness in her tone. "But I already intend on having Sasuke make up for his loss by adding another week or so to his probation."

"Actually," Iruka said, taking a rather deep breath. "I was hoping that perhaps you could allow Sasuke to be let off of his probation. He's been through quite a bit, with the earthquake and then the zoo incident, and he's worked harder than most of the other teachers."

Tsunade looked at him curiously. "Oh really? Well, Iruka, you do know that someone will have to complete the probation, don't you? I can't be known as the 'Hokage that's gone soft', can I?"

"No Ma'am," Iruka replied. "If you can't find anyone suitable for the position, then I will completely understand and take Sasuke back, but if you can, it would be greatly appreciated."

"All right, fine," Tsunade nodded. "Is that it?"

"Yes, Milady."

"Good. Dismissed," she stated, before watching as Iruka gave a quick nod and vanished in a cloud of smoke. She sighed. "Now what?" she muttered to herself. She looked down at the mountains of paperwork in front of her and weighed her options. Try and find a replacement for Sasuke, or do paperwork?

Before she could come to a decision, though, the doors opened and Juugo walked in with a few boxes, setting them down in the corner of the room with Shizune following behind. She walked over to Tsunade and bit her lower lip. "Tsunade-sama, I tried to keep her out, honestly, I did!" she said suddenly. "Please forgive me!"

Tsunade looked at Shizune with impatience and confusion. "Shizune, calm down. What are you talking about?"

"It's that girl! The one you—"

But before Shizune could complete the statement, the door to Tsunade's office slammed back open and Karin stood in the doorway, glaring daggers at the Hokage. "I cannot _live_ under these conditions!" she shrieked furiously. "There is no way I'm going to be able to stand this village much longer if I'm under this stupid probation!" she screamed. "It's driving me insane!"

_More insane, is more like it,_ Tsunade thought bitterly, before leaning back in her chair. "How about you quiet down and just talk? You're being rather annoying," she stated, trying to keep her tone level.

Karin's glare darkened. "I'm tired of having to walk around this stupid village with nothing to do!" she screeched, paying no attention to Tsunade's statement. "I'm bored out of my mind because I'm in a stupid, boring _village_!"

Tsunade was just about to shout back at her, but suddenly thought better of it. Instead, she set her hands on her desk and folded her hands together. "You're bored, you said . . . Correct?"

Karin huffed. "Do I _have _to repeat myself?"

"No," Tsunade smirked. She was silent for a moment, as if she was actually thinking this over. "How would you like to have a small job to keep your time occupied over the next two weeks?"

Karin looked at the Hokage with confusion. She hesitated, though finally growled. "Yeah, sure, whatever. It's better than being bored, anyway!"

"Good," Tsunade stated, unable not to notice how easily this girl was being tricked. "You like Sasuke a lot, don't you?"

Karin's eyes seemed to light up with delight. "I _love_ Sasuke-kun! Why?"

Tsunade refrained from gagging at this, but placed a plastic smile on her face and stood up behind her desk. "Then you'll get the privilege of doing him a _huge_ favor. You'll be filling in for him at the Academy."

Karin eyed the Hokage with suspicion. "Why would I want to do that?"

"Because Sasuke will undoubtedly be pleased with you," Tsunade said, surprising herself when she realized that this statement wasn't a complete lie. "And I'm sure it will kick in some brownie points with him for you." Okay. _That_ one was probably a lie.

Karin didn't seem to notice the falseness of it, though, for she smiled. "All right! I'll do it, then!"

"Good," Tsunade said, nodding to the girl. "Just tell Iruka that you're Sasuke's replacement, and he'll get you started to work immediately."

"Got it!" Karin stated, the excitement in her tone nearly making Tsunade want to tell her that she was lying.

Almost.

But, Tsunade refrained from doing this as well and watched as Karin ran out of her office and towards the Academy. Shizune looked over at the Hokage. "Was that a good idea?"

"Who knows?" Tsunade asked, crossing her arms. "All I know is that Iruka's got a new assistant, which means I won't be complained to . . . I'm happy, they're happy, and that bratty Karin is out of our hair. Good enough for me!"

"Well, don't count yourself as happy just yet," Shizune stated blandly. "You've still got that paperwork to do."

". . . Thanks for ruining it, Shizune," Tsunade sighed.

--

Tai gave a soft, bored sigh as he leaned back in his chair, the crutches forever disposed of in his closet back home. Iruka had announced that Sasuke wouldn't be returning as a sensei to the Academy, and would instead be replaced by someone else. This had erupted into a ton of excited statements, while Tai, Naoko, Iria, and Makoto realized that there wasn't going to be as much fun without their 'Sasuke-sensei'.

It was going to be down-right boring, actually.

Tai and the other students' attention was immediately altered at the sound of the door opening, and Tai scowled at the sight of a red-headed, glasses wearing girl walking in. Was Iruka for real? Was he seriously going to make _her_ Sasuke's replacement?

"Students, this is Karin. She's going to be my new assistant teacher," Iruka stated calmly, while Karin scanned the group of students. Iruka took his time introducing the students, while Tai scrutinized this 'Karin' with little to no curiosity. They'd see how long she would last.

After Iruka had finished the introductions, he turned to the assistant teacher. "I have to go to a meeting now, but I should be back within a half-an-hour or so. Get to know the kids while I'm gone," he stated, before leaving the room.

Once he was gone, Karin looked at the kids, her eyes narrowing. "Okay. I heard about what you all did to my Sasuke-kun! You little brats are not going to have any fun with me," she snapped. "I'll get revenge for Sasuke-kun!"

Tai looked at her curiously. "You will?"

"Yeah," Karin stated sharply. "And there's nothing you little brats are going to be able to do about it, understand?!"

"Mhmm . . . Yes _Ma'am_, Karin-sensei," Naoko said from beside Tai. "We understand."

She cast a glance at Tai, and Tai nodded.

Maybe this Karin girl was going to be more fun than he had first thought.

This was going to be amusing.

After class, Makoto bet that she wouldn't last for two days. Naoko bet she wouldn't last one. Tai? He bet she wouldn't last at all. And Iria smiled innocently, well aware that Karin didn't stand a chance with Tai pulling on the reins.

--

_**The End**_

--

* * *

**_And that's the end of Sasuke's Second Childhood! I really hope that you enjoyed this little crack-fic, and reviews will be very much appreciated! :) Also, something I've been thinking about for a while now, is if I should add a bonus chapter having a type of interview thing with Tai and the other students that played pranks on Sasuke. Just let me know if you think I should, and post a question or two, or as many as you like! Thanks_**

Oh, and for those of you who might be wondering what happened to Neji, that zoo manager guy located him as well. He's currently working as a 'small furry animals' staff member. His basic job is the bunny section, though, thanks to a tip off that the manager received from an 'anonymous' person who just happened to be blonde and wear her hair in four pigtails.

Sasuke was trying to locate Legs from his room, who had just so happened to be set free by a certain brunette kunoichi and a blonde kunoichi.

And Temari wrote to Suna, receiving a reply three days later from Kankuro, who claimed that he wished he'd been the one to be there, and that he was very proud of his older sister.

**_Thank you!_**

**_Shebby_**


End file.
